DM – Wedding albums usually involve group photos with various combinations of the bride and groom’s family. But a new photography trend is doing away with all that, and instead taking a far more intimate approach. A number of photographers are now specialising in morning-after-the-wedding photos, recording a couple’s first morning as man and wife. While many newlyweds might consider it a very private time – and, indeed, a chance to recover from the excesses of the night before – some are now inviting photographers to capture the scene Photographer Michelle Jonné, of New Jersey-based Femme Fatale, charges around $650 for the service and has captured just-married couples in various states of undress, in the shower and even in bed, surrounded by rumpled sheets.

First of all, if you’re sober enough to fuck on your wedding night you’re doing it wrong. I will never ever have “wedding night sex” in my entire life. It’s not only the biggest party of your entire life, it’s your last one. If you don’t get “someone carry me to the honey moon suite so I can piss the bed and wake up with regret” drunk then you’re an idiot. Second of all, how sad are married couples? Like the kid in high school who never got laid but talked about it non-stop so you thought he was a hotshot. Yea yea we totally fuck. All the time bro. Being married is so sweet, it’s a guaranteed slam every night. Never have to worry about getting turned down at the bar. Don’t believe me? Look at this coffee table book of us fucking. Look dude! Sex! Whatever you say bro. If you need a professional photographer to prove you’re having sex then you’re not having sex. Third of all, who wants to see people in love fuck? Gross dude. I skip past the part where the porn stars kiss for a reason. And finally, I’m totally not gay but this guy is too hot for Miss No Neck

Ugh. Guess the wedding diet had a few too many cheat days.