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The Australian Football League is in damage control after photos of famous players from the St. Kilda Football Club were published online via social media outlets. The images of the football players were allegedly leaked online by a 19-year-old model named Kim Duthie. It’s not known how Duthie obtained the pictures of the football players in compromising positions. The Facebook user wrote on her page: “Feel free to forward it on to everyone!!! Let’s see if we can get then humiliated on the news by tonight, it’ll either be that… Or I’ll be in a psychiatric ward, one of the two.. Either way? Haha x.” Duthie also told Australian radio networks that she has up to 21 photos of other Aussie Rules players. ‘There are players from other clubs: West Coast, Sydney, Collingwood, Richmond, Hawthorn and few of Melbourne. They are of a similar nature to the first one that came out,” Kim Duthie said in a telephone interview. ”I will not stop until I am satisfied; it’s basically just about getting revenge.”

Goddammit, Australia!  Beating us at our own game!  America prides itself on being the worldwide leader of the Athete’s Sex Scandal, but this puts us to shame.  The best we can muster is a few dirty texts from our athletes.  And it’s hard to get worked up about those when Down Under they’ve got crazy sluts pulling a train with every player in an entire league then sending pictures around the world to prove it.   I’m going to follow my own personal “No Posting Naked Pictures of Guys” policy (at least until Johnny Weir finally drops the false modesty) here and skip the pictures of the nude Aussies.  If you’re really must see them, here’s the link to Deadspin who posted them today.  But there’s a lot more to this story than just a couple of schlong pictures.  The chick claims she’s bitter because in one of these encounters she got knocked up and the baby was stillborn.  One of the players says he never even met the girl and the pictures were taken by a teammate, like somehow that makes it better.  There are allegations Kim’s been shaking them down for $20,000.  And then she gave a radio interview where… whether or not she’s telling the truth… she removed all doubt that she’s batshit crazy.

Australian rules football might be inferior, silly and pointless, but give them credit where it’s due: they know how to put together a decent scandal.  Somewhere there’s an Aussie Jerry Thornton working at the equivalent of Barstool: Sydney, and I envy him.