So the big news over here at Barstool Sports is that I just got some office space. Yup we’re getting all corporate and shit. Now I did this for one reason and one reason only. So I could get my hands on some Interns/slaves. We always get people sending resumes and shit but I had no where to put anybody. And I sure as hell wasn’t going to have them work out of my apartment and be eating my food, taking dumps in my home court toilet and rifling through the First Lady’s underwear and shit. No way. No how. So now I finally got somewhere to put people besides my house. Barstool World HQ’s is 75 Adams Street in Milton. (cue the Final Countdown music in your head) It is right across the street from the Milton T stop too for all you carless motherfuckers.
Anyway if you’re interested in joining the Stool empire now is the time to contact me. Send me an email to firstname.lastname@example.org. Below I’ve given you a quick rundown of some of the qualities I’m looking. I’m probably going to pick 2-4 people and there is a chance at full time employment if you’re good enough…
1. Except to be talked about, mocked and humiliated on the Stool. IE – you better have thick skin.
2. Be good at shipping shirts and getting me coffee
3. Be a funny writer so I can groom you to be the next me
4. Events planning.
5. Be a hot chick willing to give head constantly
6. Being 21 is a plus so you can go to our events
7. Internet Sales and Marketing
8. Be good at the Internet
9. Web tech guys
Again I’m looking for the people who have the most to offer with any combo of those traits. Because when you work for the Stool you don’t wear just one hat. You wear about a zillion. So if you’re interested in event planning, blogging, sales, internet marking, sucking my dick (ladies only) or something like that and want a crash course in awesomeness then send me an email.
Oh and one last thing. My mom is convinced that my Interns are going to steal shirts from me. So don’t get any wild ideas about getting rich on hot “Ball Don’t Lie” tshirts because I’m going to be watching you like a hawk.
Now if I could only get some interns to read the intern applications….