Barstool Sports Is Now Officially Looking For Interns
So the big news over here at Barstool Sports is that I just got some office space. Yup we’re getting all corporate and shit. Now I did this for one reason and one reason only. So I could get my hands on some Interns/slaves. We always get people sending resumes and shit but I had no where to put anybody. And I sure as hell wasn’t going to have them work out of my apartment and be eating my food, taking dumps in my home court toilet and rifling through the First Lady’s underwear and shit. No way. No how. So now I finally got somewhere to put people besides my house. Barstool World HQ’s is 75 Adams Street in Milton. (cue the Final Countdown music in your head) It is right across the street from the Milton T stop too for all you carless motherfuckers.
Anyway if you’re interested in joining the Stool empire now is the time to contact me. Send me an email to tips@barstoolsports.com. Below I’ve given you a quick rundown of some of the qualities I’m looking. I’m probably going to pick 2-4 people and there is a chance at full time employment if you’re good enough…
1. Except to be talked about, mocked and humiliated on the Stool. IE – you better have thick skin.
2. Be good at shipping shirts and getting me coffee
3. Be a funny writer so I can groom you to be the next me
4. Events planning.
5. Be a hot chick willing to give head constantly
6. Being 21 is a plus so you can go to our events
7. Internet Sales and Marketing
8. Be good at the Internet
9. Web tech guys
Again I’m looking for the people who have the most to offer with any combo of those traits. Because when you work for the Stool you don’t wear just one hat. You wear about a zillion. So if you’re interested in event planning, blogging, sales, internet marking, sucking my dick (ladies only) or something like that and want a crash course in awesomeness then send me an email.
Oh and one last thing. My mom is convinced that my Interns are going to steal shirts from me. So don’t get any wild ideas about getting rich on hot “Ball Don’t Lie” tshirts because I’m going to be watching you like a hawk.
Now if I could only get some interns to read the intern applications….
looks like you’re right near Milton Academy- so #5 shouldnt be a problem.
Congrats, I think…. I’m sure you’ll learn to hate the meaning of “fixed expense structure” as it’s imposed on your little empire.
Advice – keep a jar of lollipops on your desk during interviews.
EP-
I’m sure you will do this anyways..but can you please post some of the ridiculous responses you get?
Thanks in advance
Why do i envision your interview process resembling Tony Soprano’s in the movie 8mm.
Wow, three days a week for the power hour too?! Big changes Pres, yall are movin on up. You’ll be turning away blowjobs in no time.
a milton address? and you think you are a boston blog
you couldn’t even get a south boston, brighton or allston location
you should make this hiring process something like a reality tv show. Record the interviews and leave it up to the fans for a vote off.
man i would love to put “worked at a blog” on my resume’
theres a t stop in milton?
no offense pres but on number one its accept not except
EP here is my resume below, let me know if you have any questions
BLACKDUDE
Brockton
YO ElPres hook me up with a job, you need a black person around for street cred and to be an Equal Employment Opportunity Employer
smallvagina,
not even joking I bet every media company in boston would piss themselves to have somebody who worked for me so they could try and figure out how I squash them by myself
would i have to pee in a cup?
and why the fuck not allston?? somebody needs to keep this hipsters in check, i cant do it alone pal
I was going to apply, but then I saw Black Dude’s resume. Can’t compete with that. No way.
This reminds me of Kramerica
BlackDude if you were hired as an intern that means you can’t call into the power hour anymore. AND THAT WOULD BE AWESOME!
El pres,
I cannot accept your offer because your office is in boston, and I think the city of Boston is (for the most part) a piece of Shit and would never live there. if you want to blow up in chicago, i’m your man
sincerely,
Smallvagina
cue the sexual harassment lawsuit(s):
…
5. On the date of the incident, the defendant El Pres (“the Harasser”) created a sexually hostile work environment when he exposed himself and stated that “It’s not going to suck itself”.
6. At first, the Plaintiff could not identify the Harasser’s penis, owing to it’s size.
7. After realizing what the Harasser was demanding, the Plaintiff reminded the Harasser that the Plaintiff was, in fact, male and “didn’t swing that way.”
8. The Plaintiff’s refusal sent the Harasser into a rage, wherein he terminated the Plaintiff’s employment.
» beantownburke said: { Mar 9, 2010 – 11:03:22 }
no offense pres but on number one its accept not except
No offense beantown but I actually I think its supposed to be Expect
is that in the chocolate factory ep? that area is blowing up.
EL PRES… Just emailed but check this link
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x0dlWM5yOd0
blackdude – who would work your headset at the drive thru window if you left? burger king would never recover losing a “man” of your caliber.
I can do #1, #3 #6, #8 and #9.
I could also possibly do #5 if I can save enough money for the operation I so desperately need.
This stupid backspace key never works when I really really need it.
Pres you sure you’re not still in Dot?
Is it 02125 or 02186?
How about 75 Adams St Milton, MA 02125
Yea, that ought to throw everyone off…..
mooooog keep that kind of info to yourself and your cardboard cut out of george clooney that you hang above your bed
I can do 1-6 and maybe 8. best part is: i can do 5…without the surgery. winner?
“My mom is convinced that my Interns are going to steal shirts from me.”
-Mrs. Portnoy (my junior year keyboarding teacher)…
thats right pres, listen to your mother, she’s a smart woman
Southern Comfort wins.
El pres those ball don’t lie shirts wouldn’t make money if they were dipped in gold, about 85% OF THE SHIRTS SUCK BIG BALLS.
Moving the company to lower mills…nice move. That area is starting to look good again
clearly
[...] favorite website Barstool Sports is accepting interns… do you have what it [...]
do you need a financial intern to keep your six figures website in check?
I can do all of those, except giving head.
Do u discriminate among black guys from the brockton area in the hiring process?