It’s called courting a woman, guys. Learn about it. Anyone can buy chicks fancy and shiny things. Sometimes you gotta get them a gift from the heart, something sentimental to show you care. Like photoshopping your faces onto a bunch of weird pictures. That’s how you date pornstars #likeaboss.

PS – I can deal with people saying that the book is weird. If you’re an idiot with dumb opinions then I guess you’re entitled to them. But it’s pretty ridiculous that no one commented how much I look just like Ryan Gosling in that pic from The Notebook. I’m not even sure I remembered to Photoshop that one. Might just be him.