BEVERLY – A Beverly man will spend the next two years on probation after admitting that he tried to unzip the pants of a college student who was going door-to-door for the organization MassPIRG last year. Daniel Keating’s lawyer said Keating, 52, is “terribly embarrassed and remorseful” about the June 15, 2011, incident inside his 25 Swan St. home. The student, a summer employee of the organization, was soliciting donations and other support for bottle bill reform. Keating invited him into his kitchen, where Keating filled out a postcard to be sent to the Statehouse and the student began explaining where Keating’s $100 donation would go. The student, 19, told police that as he stood near the kitchen table, where Keating was sitting, Keating suddenly reached up and touched his belt buckle, then put his hand on the zipper of the student’s pants and tried to unzip them. “What are you doing?” the student said he yelled. Keating responded, “What does my $100 get me?” The stunned student yelled “membership,” then fled the home and called his MassPIRG supervisor, who told him to go to the police, according to a police report. Delaney, Keating’s attorney, called the incident “an aberration.” Keating, he said, works full time, owns his home and cares for an elderly parent, and is also currently busy running a parking lot near the Topsfield Fair. “I don’t think you’ll see him here again,” Delaney told the judge.

 

19 Year old Student – What are you doing!? (As pervert touches his belt buckle)

Pervert – What does my $100 get me?”

19 Year old Student – Membership! (as he runs away)

Yes I felt like I had to reiterate the exchange between these two because it is laugh out loud funny. Like that image of this kid scurrying away yelling “Membership” is liquid gold. Fucking summer jobs. Some of the weirdest shit you can possible do. I mean I thought working in a cemetery was bad. At least I never got molested.  Just had to act as pall bearer for random strangers from time to time and bury people.  Nothing too bad.

PS – Obviously this guy works at the Topsfield Fair. If I was looking for some kiddie dick that’s exactly where I’d work too. What’s the total on how many molestations take place at Topsfield Fair every year? 10?