TALLAHASSEE, Fla. (AP) — Authorities believe a disagreement over a parking space led to two people being shot and wounded outside a Walmart in Tallahassee, Fla. Police say officers responded to the shooting shortly after noon on Black Friday, one of the busiest shopping days of the year. A man and a woman — discovered at the store’s outdoor garden center — were taken to a nearby hospital with wounds that were not considered life-threatening. They were expected to make a full recovery. No arrests were immediately made, but police were searching for a dark green Toyota Camry in connection with the case.

This puts a nice bow on Black Friday. Couple mofos getting shot outside Walmart over a parking space dispute. Perfect ending to my favorite day of the year. I don’t want to hear these victims bitching and moaning about it either. Black Friday ain’t for the faint of heart. As a shopper you need every advantage you can get out there. Somebody makes a move on the video game section mace their ass. Somebody steals your parking spot? Put a bullet in them. That’s how you do it on Black Friday. Go strong or go home. Like if I ever showed up to Black Friday I’d be in full riot gear, Robo Cop style, just beating people with night sticks and shit. No rules. No laws. It’s kill or be killed. Competitive shopping at it’s finest. To quote Don King…Only in America!