My wife has been on a health kick for the last year or so. She regularly goes to the gym and watches what she eats. She looks great and feels good about herself. So what’s wrong? She stinks! Yes, she smells, and not from lack of showers but from the food she eats. In the last year, she has gone from vegetarian to vegan. She is eating a lot of organic foods, greens, soups, etc… She does not smell it on her so she is not concerned. It is a huge issue for me because I no longer want to be intimate with my wife. I don’t even want to be in the same room as her when she gives off this aroma.
I feel like I’m ready to walk but wonder what advice you can give me before I make this decision.
– GrossedOutHubby, Boston
Meredith Hoss Goldstein’s Answer
A:You have to be 100 percent honest, GOH. Not mean, but honest. You have to tell her that the smell issue is beginning to kill some very important parts of your marriage. Tell her that you’re scared. That should disarm her.
If she refuses to address the smell issue and tells you that this is your problem, this is no longer about the odor; it’s about her health kick trumping your marriage. At that point, you have every reason to ask her to go into therapy with you to talk about how to prioritize the individual without losing sight of the partnership.
But you’re not there yet. Start with real honesty (and some compliments about she used to smell) and a trip to the nutritionist.
Readers? How do you tell a partner that they stink? What if she refuses to deal with this? Anyone vegan? How important is a partner’s familiar smell in a relationship?
Editor’s Note – I know Hoss Goldstein is fucking with me now. Just making shit up. I don’t care. I’ll play around Hoss. You want to get nuts? Let’s get nuts! Yes, I have two solariums. Quite a find. And I have horses, too. Snoopy and…Prickly Pete! Should I keep driving?
Dear Grossed Out Hubby,
How do you tell your wife she stinks? You say “hey bitch you stink!” That is probably the easiest advice I’ve ever given anybody in my life. You tell her that if she can’t stop stinking than you’re fucking out. That’s it. It’s that simple. What’s the point of looking good if you reek? Might as well be a fat pig. So tell her to stop eating the weird shit. But here is the important part. You need to make it clear that this is not an excuse for her to get fat and gross. Tell her to hit the gym, develop an eating disorder or eat lettuce like a normal chick. Because it doesn’t matter what she feels like on the inside. Just stay skinny and don’t smell. It’s not that complicated. If she can’t do that, that means she’s a selfish broad and all you’re seeing is the tip of the iceberg. You dump her and you dump her fast.