Today….Today….Today….I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of this earth. Yes, I’m here to formally announce my retirement from American Idol after this season. It’s been a great 8 year run for me both personally and professionally. Before I came along people would have laughed if somebody said they picked 7 out of 8 winners before the first elimination show aired. But I proved what was possible with a little god given talent and a lot of hard work. The friendships I’ve made. The people I’ve met. Nothing will ever be able to replace that. I’d like to thank Kelly Clarkson. Without her this show never makes it past the first season. Carrie Underwood. I always knew you had a hot ass hiding behind that baby fat. Taylor Hix. We did buddy! We shocked the world! David Cook, you cemented my name in Idol lore I’ll be eternally grateful. Adam Lambert, you taught me to believe again. And of course Simon…it’s only fitting old friend that you and I go out on top together. There are so many more people I’d love to thank but I can’t get to them all.  Just know that you are in my heart. But it’s time to start the next chapter in my life. Spend more time being a husband. Watching my unborn kids grow up. Help coach their little league teams. I just want everybody to know that whenever I stepped between those white lines I gave it everything I had. I never mailed in a show. I watched the film and then I watched it again. I broke down every note, every awkward moment, every judges critique. I left it all out on the field and I’ll do it again one last time. And hopefully when I walk down the street people will say there goes Dave Portnoy, the best American Idol prognosticator there ever was.