Tampa, Florida – Seedy, sleazy, seductive… They’re words some might use to describe Tampa strip clubs. While the girls up on stage leave little to the imagination, we wondered what was going on behind closed doors, in the kitchens of Bay area adult establishments. “There’s always the old jokes, ‘I would never eat anything from the buffet at the gentleman’s club.’ Well we are not your father’s gentleman’s club anymore,” said Scott Megna, Corporate Chef at Tampa’s Gold Club on Adamo Drive. His kitchen is one of nearly a half dozen adult establishments across Tampa Bay offering up not just lovely ladies, but full menus of food as well. We pulled inspection reports for six Bay area gentleman’s clubs offering full dinner menus. The results were surprisingly revealing. Across the board, we were shocked to see how well each restaurant preformed, Tampa Gold Club for example scored a near perfect inspection in July with only a single violation for “encrusted material on a can opener.” “As far as the cleanliness, you’re not going to get a cleaner kitchen or safer kitchen,” said Megna. Across town, Scores Gentleman’s Club and Steak House on Dale Mabry Highway serves up some of the finest grade filet in town.

Yea yea sure thing bro, strip club kitchens are immaculate.   Listen buddy you can tell me until you’re blue in the face that the Gold Club keeps a better kitchen than Bern’s, but I’m still not going there for date night. I don’t have many rules in life but one of them is not eating while some slut fingerfucks herself on top of my filet to pay for typing classes.  I’m old fashioned like that.  Separation of church and state.   Separation of skanks pole dancing and fine dining.  That’s just how I roll.

PS – Beau nailed the “I’m not supposed to say this assignment was awesome but it was totally awesome” shit eating grin