TMZ – Model SueLyn Medeiros tells TMZ, the sex tape that just hit the Internet featuring her and her BF was jacked from her computer without permission … and now, she’s gearing up to sue. She has no idea how it happened — but SueLyn claims she has already contacted a lawyer, and plans to drop the legal hammer on the website that published the video. SueLyn tells us, “I am very upset and angry with all this and the way it was released and what was said about me … I am in a loving relationship, and me and my boyfriend took a few personal private videos doing things I’m sure every couple does.” She adds, “Someone stole these files from us … My family is very upset and disappointed. My mother can’t stop crying. I want justice.”

I’m not going to lie.  I leaked precum all over the joint when I heard that SueLyn Medeiros finally released a sex tape. I mean had her laptop hacked ahem, ahem. That’s how excited I was to watch it.  So naturally I spent the next 2 hours trying to find it.   Sure I could buy it, but I don’t do that shit.  I’m old school.   If I can’t find it fair and square on some porn site for free than I won’t watch it.    And unfortunately after scouring the internet for 2 hours not only couldn’t I find it, but I learned the reviews of this thing are universally bad.   Almost everybody is saying the same thing.

“Her tits look awful”

“Kim K was a much better actress”

“Her ass is frozen”

“No Bounce”

“Worst celeb sex tape since Paris Hilton”

“Ass implants suck”

And on and on it goes.   I don’t even know what to say about these reviews?  I mean if Suelyn Medeiros doesn’t ravage dick in the sack what’s next?   No Santa Claus?   I almost don’t want to watch it now and ruin the dream.

UPDATE – I found the 9 minute video.   It’s not the Godfather but it’s not Gigli either.   Got the job done for me.