BROCKTON — ‘Hang tight!” John Rodriguez told a man who apparently tried to break into his store overnight. “The police are on their way!” Rodriguez could afford to be flippant, because the man’s head was stuck between a metal door and a concrete loading dock floor, held there by several hundred pounds of pressure. When Rodriguez, the assistant store manager, came to work at the Rent-A-Center store on Crescent Street and went out back to open the loading-bay doors, about 8:45 a.m. Tuesday, he found a man with his head stuck under the heavy metal door in the rear of the store. On the video, the Fernandes claims he was just “trying to fix the door,” then claims he confused Rent-A-Center with another address, then finally pleads with Rodriguez to let him go, saying that he hasn’t taken anything. The man said he had been under the door since midnight.

It’s not every day that a story of a guy somehow getting stuck under a rent-a-center storage door is overshadowed but I think we’ve got such a case on our hands. Uhhh, Lt. Paul Bonanca what the fuck is going on with your hair bro?

That’s the most ridiculous haircut I’ve ever seen. Don’t tell me about the suspect. Don’t tell me about the Rent-A-Center storage door. Tell me what the fuck was going through your head when you sat down in the barber’s seat. Jesus Christ it’s bad enough the kid had to get his planned ruined by a garage door, now he’s gotta get arrested by Peewee Herman too? Talk about throwing salt in the wound. The only way that haircut is passable is if the flipped up part is bleached, middle school style. Everyone knows that dude. Clean it up.