Never in nearly 38 years of rooting for this team have I ever been as embarrassed as I am right now and that’s saying something.  Low-balling their stars, passing off stiffs as regular NHL-caliber players and hoping fans don’t notice, the Daniel “Bandit” Berthiaume era, the gross pre- and post-lockout mismanagement and miscalculations, trading stars for peanuts, walking to that shithole venue in the dead of winter to watch shitty teams, last year’s playoff loss, and now 18 fucking years since they got out of the second round—I dealt with all of it because that what [masochistic] fans do.

But this…this? No fucking excuse for it. None. Not only did they join the small but exclusive club for teams that did the unthinkable and blew a 3-0 series lead to earn a place in the choking hall of fame, they blew a fucking 3-0 lead in the game to exacerbate the agony for their followers. Seriously Bruins, WHAT THE FUCK?!?                           

After a Mike Ryder tally and two by Lucic less than 15 minutes in, with two of the goals coming on the power play thanks to patented dumb Philly penalties, the weak-willed Bruins apparently decided that they didn’t need to play anymore hockey and that their ticket to the Wales Finals was punched. Because after the second Lucic tally, they stopped fighting for the puck, decided they didn’t need to do all of those little things that make a big difference in the playoffs, started backing off guys to give them more skating room, and just stopped playing the attacking style that gave them the lead.  What the fuck were they thinking?

This was the same Philly team that’s refused to play dead for a week now. What made the Bruins think they were going to suddenly turn into the Cleveland Cavaliers and quit?  Instead, they kept coming and got one before the period was done to make it 3-1 when James van Riemsdyk’s shot went off of Mark Stuart’s stick and past Tuukka Rask, who really deserved a better fate but for the shitbums in front of him.

The Bs really had their head in the sand in the second period when they didn’t get their first shot on net until about halfway through it and were vastly outplayed. Scott Hartnell made it 3-2 early in the second after the stand-around Bs let Philly swarm the net. Danny Briere’s wraparound hit Matt Hunwick to tie the game almost nine minutes into the third and the teams headed into the last frame knotted at 3.

But this pathetic bunch, a group that apparently suffers from a serious lack of leadership after this epic meltdown, flat out shit the bed in the third. They registered a measly five shots on net and, through their inaction, made Mike Leighton a Philly folk hero on par with Ben fucking Franklin even though he made very few big saves (that’s the real kick in the balls, that the Bruins didn’t get nearly enough rubber on a goalie who was shaky and easily beaten). Coach Claude now finds himself in the esteemed company of Don Cherry for allowing his bench to fuck up a simple line change that gave Philly the power play that led to the winning goal when Simon Gagne put the Flyers up for good. The Bruins final, feeble efforts to send the game into OT fell short.

Injuries to David Krejci and Marco Sturm are no fucking excuse. This team just flat out choked—ironically, they once again got complacent with a 3-0 lead and it was their undoing. Sure, Philly deserves the win and they never stopped coming. But the Bs couldn’t match their intensity, aggression, and effort.  That’s a problem that didn’t disappear after last year’s playoff flop and one that upper management will need to address. Yet, I doubt Julien is going anywhere after GM Pete Chiarelli extended his contract earlier this year. Regardless of what happens or doesn’t happen, there’s just no reason a team should stop going hard like the Bruins did once they got a seemingly comfy 3-0 lead.

 The Bruins were within a Game Four OT win from eliminating this team but couldn’t put them away. They didn’t even bother showing up for Game Five, perhaps mistakenly assured that they’d just win the next one. Nope. In Game Six, Philly protected their weakest spot, their goalie, and kept the Bs at bay to set up this awful, horrific failure. I don’t give a fuck how they would’ve done had they won. They could’ve gotten swept by the Habs for all I care. But this loss stings worse than a thousand hornets.

Not only did they ruin their season, but they ruined the rest of the fucking playoffs for me. Philly vs. Montreal? Ugh. Joe Thornton’s Sharks vs. Chicago? Only one thing to say to that: Go ‘Hawks.

Quick aside to readers of this blog: Thanks for reading all year and for chiming in with your kind words (and not-so-kind). It’s been a pleasure bringing you my skewed view on the Bruins to the ‘Stool. I was hoping to for another couple of weeks. But I just didn’t expect this team’s balls to shrivel up, go inside, and morph into a vag. Because that’s what happened on Causeway Street tonight, make no mistake.

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