BUSTED! (Tiger Issued A $164 Ticket)

ORLANDO, Fla. (AP)—Tiger Woods will get a careless driving citation for a car crash outside his Orlando-area mansion last week, but will not face criminal charges, the Florida Highway Patrol said Tuesday. Woods faces a $164 fine and four points against his driver’s license. The citation will close the investigation. “Despite the celebrity status of Mr. Woods, the Florida Highway Patrol has completed its investigation in the same professional manner it strives to complete each traffic investigation,” Sgt. Kim Montes said. An attorney for the neighbors who dialed 911 after the crash said Woods did not appear to be driving under the influence and showed no signs of having been in a fight. The Florida Highway Patrol said there were no claims of domestic violence and no reason to issue a subpoena for medical evidence. Woods injuries were “consistent with a car wreck and inconsistent with him being beat up,” said Bill Sharpe, the attorney for the neighbors. “The scratches on his face were consistent with someone who maybe was in a minor car accident and hit his head on the windshield. … None of his injuries looked like he was beat up by his wife.” “One thing we want to make clear is that Mrs. Woods’ attitude was consistent with her being concerned about her injured husband,” Sharpe said. “Mrs. Woods was trying to help him. Mrs. Woods was worried about her husband. She was concerned.” He said he was hired to get the message out that the Adams family members have told investigators everything they know about the crash and aren’t hiding anything.

Woods got a 164 dollar ticket? Gotcha sucka! Score one for the little people! Great job all around by the Florida Highway Patrol and TMZ. Let this be a lesson to all would be celebrity drivers who think they are going to get away with smashing their cars in their driveway after domestic disputes. The FHP will find you and they will ticket you. End of story.

PS – Am I dreaming or did the neighbors really hire an attorney to tell their side of the story, which they admittedly know nothing about, who has now somehow become the lead spokesman on this fiasco?   Umm what planet am I on? To quote Don King….Only in America!   Seriously you might as well just quote me .   Because in my professional opinion the pictures I saw of the wreck on TMZ do indicate a previous domestic dispute.  So there.