Cambridge A 24-year-old Cambridge man watching “cartoon porn” called police after he reportedly received a computer message telling him the Department of Justice was monitoring his laptop and he would need to pay $300 in order to unlock it. Police met with the unidentified suspect, who was reportedly wearing a blue T-shirt and jeans with the zipper undone. The man told police he was checking out a cartoon pornography website when he saw a mix of adult and child pornography on the screen.

The man told police he was “disturbed” but continued to browse through the pornographic website. After a few minutes, a “Department of Justice” screen popped up, stating the man could face up to 15 years in prison and that all and any cameras attached to his computer were being monitored by the government. The message also reportedly said he needed to pay $300 to unlock the computer.

Cartoon porn?  Gross bro.   And do me a favor and at least pull up your zipper up before the cops arrive at your house.   That’s calling the police on yourself for watching cartoon porn 101 really.  I’m talking day 1 stuff.

PS – I’m still kind of confused how that ad showed up on his cartoon porn site though?  I wonder if that’s how the cartoon porn site makes money?  They lure you in with the free cartoon porn and then extort you for 300 bucks by threatening to call the cops on you.  Pretty solid business plan actually.  Like if I got a pop up on Beeg.com that said they were going to spam everybody in my inbox with my porn viewing habits I couldn’t pay fast enough even though I knew it was 99.9 percent a hoax.  Still couldn’t risk it.

Anyway listen I didn’t want to talk about cartoon porn today, but if this guy wants to start it I’ll finish it.  Here is the definitive top 10 cartoon chicks I’d like to see in a porno if that was my bag.  Don’t bother debating this because my list is absolute.

 

10. Lady Jaye

 

9. Jayne Jetson (She’s 18 right?  Does that matter in cartoon years?)

8. Gem

7. Ariel

6. Jessica Rabbit  (overrated in my book.  Too slutty for my tastes)

5. She Ra

4. April O’Neil

3. Pocahontas

2. Princess Jasmine

1. Daphne

 

 

Like I said don’t debate it.  This is the list.  I know the Smurfette crowed is probably gonna come out of the woodwork.  Dude she’s blue.  Grow up.   And no I didn’t consider WonderWoman and people like that cartoons.