Florida – Bill Seebeck thought it was the luckiest day of his life. Seebeck was playing a slot machine Seminole Hard Rock Casino in Tampa when he thought he had won a staggering $166,666,666.65. The joy didn’t last long, however, as the casino denied the man’s jackpot because it was caused by a machine malfunction. According to officials at the Seminole Hard Rock Casino, the maximum possible jackpot possible on the machine Bill Seebeck played was $90,000, well short of the $166 million jackpot. This isn’t the first time this has happened. A patron at a Seminole Casino in California thought he had a $259,000 denied after officials stated it was caused by a computer error. In that case, the casino decided to pay the full amount. As for Bill Seebeck, he was considering legal action, but it appears he has now agreed to an undisclosed “good faith” settlement from the Seminole Hard Rock Casino.

There’s one thing I know for certain, and it’s when the rest of us are standing in line outside of heaven hoping to get in, the bouncers are going to waive Bill Seebeck right through the velvet ropes. No asking to see his ID, no cover charge. Because he has to be the most patient, understanding man on the face of the Earth. “I feel let down and ripped off “? How about “I feel like if I don’t get every goddamned penny of that $166,666,666.65 my brain is going to malfunction and I’m going to kill everyone in the place then burn this shithole to the ground”? How about “I’m going to masscre the lot of you in a way that makes ‘Wounded Knee’ look like a family picnic”? I know I’m in the minority around here, but this is just another reason why I don’t gamble. I mean, in what other field of endeavor can someone hose you like this and your only option is just to sit there and take it? When you buy a house the bank can’t just say “Thanks for the down payment and the closing costs. But unfortunately our computer malfunctioned so someone else gets the house and you have to piss off.” And this is also another reason why I’ve been trying to prove Indian ancestry so I can get my own casino. Yeah, I belong to the, uh… Black Jack tribe. Jerry is just my white man’s name; My Indian name is Stands On 17.  Now how soon can I open?… Because to me, casinos and slots are a tax on stupidity. Even the ones that actually pay you when you win.

(Thanks to Greentroit)