body double on left, actual murderer on right

DM — Gu Kailai was handed a suspended death sentence yesterday for murdering British businessman Neil Heywood. However, in a bizarre twist, there was fevered speculation that it wasn’t her in the dock. China was yesterday abuzz with the suggestion that the politician’s wife employed a ‘lookalike’ to take her place in court. Chinese state security yesterday blocked the term ‘body double’ being searched after the suggestion spread like wildfire on the internet. Though it may seem far-fetched, the use of a body double by the rich and powerful in China to take their place in courtrooms has been well documented. Gu’s execution was suspended for two years, meaning that unless she commits any further offence she will be spared the bullet. She – or her double – faces a life sentence, which in reality is about 14 years, with some experts predicting the sentence could eventually be reduced even further with behind-the-scenes deals. Gu was convicted of murdering Old Harrovian Mr Heywood with cyanide after luring him to a hotel room in Chongqing, southwestern China, last November.

Hahaha. It’s like Gu Kailai purposely tried to find a body double that looked nothing like herself. I mean we’re talking about Congqing, China here. You can throw a shoe down Main Street and hit 5 women that look identical to Gu Kailai. Shouldn’t be hard to find a body double that fools me. But if I know one thing, it’s that the young Asian man on the left is not the old Asian woman on the right. Gu couldn’t even be bothered to put in the time to cast a good fake to play her role, that’s hilarious. Hey what’s the point I guess, right? When you know the government is gonna block “body double” from getting Googled and you can negotiate a death sentence to 14 years in prison with some backroom handshakes why even bother covering it up? Just hire some chubby Asian dude to pretend he’s you for about a decade and pay him double what he’d make on the AirMax assembly line. Shove it right in everybody’s face. God, China is so fucked up that they might be doing it right.