So the NFL just wrapped up their annual Rookie Symposium, a week-long event of seminars, lectures and exercises designed basically to teach the new guys coming into the league how not to blow all their money, get the clap, shoot up strip clubs, send pictures of their wangs to female team employees or set up interstate dog fighting rings.  And one of the rookies participating was Colts’ 2nd round pick Coby Fleener, the tight end out of Stanford, who wrote about it in SI:

Each player was handed a wireless keypad to allow them to answer questions… they were a part of the “Ultimate Rookie Challenge.” Four times during the symposium, rookies were given eight different questions and 10 seconds to answer each of them… it seemed like the main ballroom temperature was lowered 10 degrees on Day 2, which began with another iteration of the “Ultimate Rookie Challenge.” …As of Day 2, the Colts had yet to crack the top 10 in total score… [On Day 3] the “Challenge” results were announced. I have to say…  I was equally skeptical of the Patriots’ dominance throughout the competition. Either way, I was probably just being a sore loser. Congratulations to the following:

5th: Pittsburgh Steelers
4th: Jacksonville Jaguars
3rd: Cleveland Browns*
2nd: San Diego Chargers
1st: New England Patriots*

(* Further investigation pending)

Well, welcome to the NFL, Fleener.  I can see already you were drafted by the right team because you’re going to fit right in with the Colts.  You’ve already mastered the most important parts of the team culture: A) It’s never your fault. B) The Patriots only win by cheating.  Once you’ve got those two down, the rest is cream cheese.  It’s part of the fabric of life in Indy.  They were complaining about the temperature and whining to the league about the unfairness and slapping asterisks on the Patriots back when you were still in middle school. It’s a tradition unlike any other down there.  It’s spanned the years from Peyton Manning to Tony Dungy to Jim Caldwell to Bill (Na)Polian.  And now even though all those guys are gone, the torch has been passed to a new generation.  So good for you that you wasted no time getting with the program.  Hell, I’ll bet you don’t have 10% of the playbook memorized yet, but you’ve got this down cold so I’m sure you’ve made the Irsay family proud.  I can’t imagine for the life of me why the Patriots would cheat at something as inconsequential as the Rookie Challenge.  I mean, they also won it in 2008 and 2009 so maybe they just prepare their rookies for it or try to draft smart, mature guys.  Who knows?  But that’s no concern on your team..  When you’re a Colt you insist the Pats are cheaters and throw asteriskes at them like ninja stars and then get the rules changed later on.  I don’t know if you can catch a football, run or block, kid.  But you’ve got a long future as a coach and GM with that team.  “Sore loser” indeed.  @JerryThornton1