Couple Arrested For Fucking With KY In WalMart
(Hutch) — Police say a Hutchinson couple were hot and bothered at the local Walmart, and it wasn’t because of the heat wave hitting Kansas. The couple is facing charges of lewd and lascivious behavior and theft after they reportedly stole K-Y Jelly from Walmart and started to engage in sexual activity – groping each other under their clothing – in front of other shoppers, Hutchinson police reported.
This is lewd and lascivious? Ouuuutrageous! Can’t be mad at this couple for one second. Walking into a WalMart you sign a social contract: Abandon all hope, ye who enter here. And in WalMart’s defense, they do their best to make sure you know that. They don’t front. Don’t pretend to be some high class joint like Tar-je. From the second you pull up and you see dirty diapers rolling around the parking lot like bails of hay in a western movie, you know what you’re getting into. They have the greeter with one arm and a Chris Elliot face asking how he can help you even though he knows the answer is simply “don’t smell me.” Seeing two people use the tester tube of KY is pretty much a best case scenario. You got obese rednecks whipping around testing out their new Rascals, perverted kids fingering Cabbage Patch dolls in aisle 5, and a 3 on 3 basketball game between homeless people going on in the sports section. Don’t concern yourself with the anal going on. Just be happy the chick didn’t scumfart on you and go try on your pair of Lees “dungarees” and get the fuck out of dodge.
PS – what’s the deal with KY? Do normal people use it or is it just for dried up old ladies?
I think it was Beckett .. http://patdollard.com/2012/08/trashy-couple-arrested-for-sex-inside-walmart/
Yea absolutely 0% chance they aren’t morbidly obese. Dude probably hasn’t seen his dick in 10 years.
Yes, for those tend to hurts ladies with their man part it is very necessary.
You should ALWAYS use lubrication…doesn’t matter you think the girl is the wettest in the world, if you are pounding into her for more than 2 mintues (which I’m sure most male stoolies only dream of…) you need it!
If they hadnt of used the ky it would only have been dry humping which is perfectly acceptable behavior in a walmart.
“the greeter with one arm and a Chris Elliot face” Fucking gold
a scumfart? i dont even want to know what that is but i kinda do
nice link faj, this bitch was surprisingly decent looking in the head shot. I mean, don’t get me wrong she’s a 2 at best but i figured she’d be about on par with that white whale of a water polo player from yesterday.
Only assholes call it Tar-je
i hate that i laughed at the ‘abandon hope..” line…then realize later it’s a feitelfuck blog. i realized about 4 lines later as the overdoing it was in full effect.
The Wal-Mart in Framingham is probably 1/4 mile from the Target. Might as well be half a world away. Target is always full of Framingham State co-eds and MILFs, while everyone in the Wal-Mart looks like their mom drank Chernobyl water when she was pregnant. Fucking bizzare.
You stoolies wanna see a really weird Wal-Mart? Check out the one in North Adams, some of the people are out of “The Hills Have Eyes” and shit.
The report says a couple, doesn’t say man and woman. If it was two fags then the K-Y jelly usage makes sense.
^^Scratch that, clicked the link, it was a Julian and a Tina. Bitch was 13 years older than him though.
I will be laughing at the word scumfart all fucking night or at least another 20min.. if you imagine it in a Peter Griffin voice its much better.
On the lube note, use it when it’s handy. If for nothing else it makes a fantastic noise and you feel like a boss.
Don’t buy anything from the Barstool store. They will ship you the wrong thing, then never respond to you when you try and get it fixed. Amateur operation.
If you want to see weird people, try an Oklahoma Walmart. Some of the ugliest, strangest birds on earth.
Die Jew fuck
Are u kidding me?! Check out the walmart in Hardeeville sc. Just outside Hiltin Head. Year after year it is rated the #1 worst walmart!