Australia – A TAXI driver was beaten with a high heel shoe and dumped in North Adelaide after a couple demanded he leave his cab so they could have sex, police allege. The couple… allegedly directed the taxi driver to Dry Creek, where they allegedly demanded he leave the car so they could have sex in the back seat. Police allege the couple then told the driver to get in the passenger seat before driving him to North Adelaide. Once in North Adelaide, the taxi driver took the opportunity to call for help. The couple then allegedly attacked the driver, punching him in the head and hitting him with a high heel shoe, after refusing to pay the $72 fare.

Holy crap.  Break this story down and count how many breeches of common taxi etiquette you come up with.  For starters, they asked him to leave the cab, which you simply  don’t do.  It’s like asking the captain to get off his ship.  It’s common knowledge that if you’re going to bang in a cab, you’ve got to be willing to let the driver watch.  Chances are he comes from a country where guys are having sex with goats on the nightly news, so your canoodling won’t phase him.  Next, they made him get in the passenger seat and they took the wheel, which is akin to a mutiny.  Then they wouldn’t even pay him, which is a travesty.  The rule of thumb on such a thing is that even though you’re parked, once you start doing the Beast With Two Backs, the meter runs at the “moving” rate.  Certainly a $72 fare is more than reasonable under the circumstances.  And you should leave a tip commiserate with how good the sex was and how little the cabbie turned around to watch.  Certainly smacking him on the head with your hooker boots is out of the question.  It’s a sad day indeed when couples can’t have simple, polite cab sex the way our parents and grandparents did.