I am someone who enjoys just about every nose I encounter. I am interested in drawing many noses for fun. If you have a nose and would like it to be immortalized in pen, pencil, (and maybe watercolor) on paper please send me a photograph of your nose and if you feel inclined to provide a short biography of your nose I will surely welcome it. When I’m done I can mail you the drawing – it will be postcard sized. Please provide your mailing address if you’d like the drawing.
From: Dave Portnoy [mailto:email@example.com]
Sent: Monday, February 24, 2014 1:16 PM
Subject: Do you have a nose?
Hi. I was thrilled to see your posting on craigslist. It’s just wonderful to see another person who appreciates the essence and beauty of the human nose as much as I do. In my humble opinion I believe my nose to be one of the finest noses not only in Boston but in the entire country. No, it’s not a button nose. It’s not a weak nose made for cowardly men. It’s big powerful regal nose. A nose built for kings. A nose that can pick up scents miles away. A nose that can smell trouble before it starts. A nose that can smell baked goods before they are cooked. Sure many have scoffed at it’s size and shape. They’ve said what an ugly nose on an ugly man. But what all good nose men know is that anybody can have a little nose. A big nose build character and resolve. It teaches how to overcome adversity. How to gain confidence in yourself. Nothing is handed to big nosed people. We earn everything we get. We scrap for every inch. Fight for every yard. That’s what my nose says about me. It’s big and it’s battle tested and has forged a man of iron.
I look forward to hearing back and hope you can do it justice.
PS – I included a bunch of pictures to try and give you a 360 view of my nose in all its majestic glory. Yes I know it’s much better looking from the left side then the right side. Not sure how that happened.
From: craigslist 4347244248 [mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org]
Sent: Thursday, February 27, 2014 10:22 PM
Subject: Re: Do you have a nose?
I’m sorry I have not gotten back to you yet. Your response was by far my favorite. Incredible. Thank you for taking the time to write this truly passionate response to my ad.
I can either send you images via email when the drawing is done or mail it to you as a postcard.
In Today’s Mail
It finally arrived! At first I wasn’t sure what to think? I had a hard time figuring out what was going on for a minute. But the more I stared at it the more it grew on me. She basically combined the front with the 2 side views into one glorious creation. Looks like I got a new painting to hang over the bed in our new house. Shit is gonna get weird in the sack with this aphrodisiac hanging above us.
Time to rate my nose painting