You know I thought about playing in the NHL, but you’re on the road so much, you have no time to spend with your wife and kids. In hindsight it was the wrong decision. I mean look at this fucking guy. His name is Mikkel Boedker and he plays for the Phoenix Coyotes. Never heard of him. All I know is you can’t argue with the way he rolls. A smoke on each arm like it ain’t no thing. And how about the broad on the left? Holy fuck she’s hot. God damn puck sluts. I demand to know who that chick is. I DEMAND it.

PS – I need that kid with the fake surfer hair to start shopping at Barstool.  I got a ton of tanks to sell his ass.