Dead Kid Wakes Up, Asks for a Glass of Water, Then Goes Back to Dead
Brazil – A two-year-old boy sat up in his coffin and asked for water before laying back down again lifeless, according to a Brazilian news website. In a case that seems almost too incredible to be true, ORM claimed that Kelvin Santos stopped breathing during treatment for pneumonia at a hospital in Belem, northern Brazil. He was declared dead at 7.40pm on Friday and his body was handed over to his family in a plastic bag. The child’s devastated family took him home where grieving relatives held a wake throughout the night, with the boy’s body laid in an open coffin. But an hour before his funeral was due to take place on Saturday the boy apparently sat up in his coffin and said: ‘Daddy, can I have some water?’. The boy’s father, Antonio Santos, said: ‘Everybody started to scream, we couldn’t believe our eyes. Then we thought a miracle had taken place and our boy had come back to life. ‘Then Kelvin just laid back down, the way he was. We couldn’t wake him. He was dead again.
OK, this settles it. They didn’t believe me when the naked guy in Miami ate the other naked guy’s face. They laughed at me when the guy in Maryland ate his roommate’s heart and brains. Scoffed when the New Jersey guy cut out his own intestines and threw them at the cops. Mocked me when the Canadian porn actor ate human flesh and started mailing body parts around. Well who’s laughing now, wiseguys huh? Once you get dead toddlers rising up out of the grave and asking for water, we’ve pretty much proven what I’ve been saying all along: The Zombie Apocalypse is upon us. In fact, I’ll bet you anything what Kelvin asked for sounded like “water” but was like the Brazilian word for “brains” or something. The government can talk bath salts or some strain of drugs or sell us any other bullshit story they want, but this is the early stages of the Solanum virus spreading, and Naked Miami Man was only Patient Zero. The government is just making up lies to keep us from panicking. Well I for one think this is the perfect time to panic. Which is why I’ve been hoarding canned goods and learning to be handy with a crossbow,. So laugh all you want, but the joke will be on you when Tim Thomas and I are the last humans left on Earth.
@JerryThornton1
we got no food, we got no jobs, OUR PETS HEADS ARE FALLING OFF!
this small black kid is JJJJJEEEEEESSSSSUUUUUUSSSSSS!!!!!!
I got a chopper in the car
Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together… mass hysteria!
obviously this poor little kid was alive the whole time, and wrongly diagnosed by what i am sure are some stellar doctors in “Belem, Northern Brazil” . he re-gains consciousness, then finally expires for real after not adequately being treated for pneumonia, if that’s indeed what it really was in the first place. it’s so sad really, if this kid lived in boston he would be sitting in a bed watching cartoons and eating ice cream right now….
Crazy bastard up in Amesbury last night took bath salts and ate his entire fucking foot. Shit you don’t hear on the news. Fucked up scene.
second lamest commenter on BSS > ch@v
A great big mind-fuck for the whole family!
@Supergrover: You’re probably right. Wouldn’t surprise me if this was commonplace in that area; which could lead to people getting buried alive. Talk about having a bad day…
+1 for supergrover
always double tap
put this kids phone on vibrate and call it a day
Can 2 year olds really form sentences like “Daddy, can I have some water?” Either way all I can picture is that scene from No Country for Old Men, “I told you I aint got no aqua!”
Jerry, if this was you waking up from the dead, you would ask for a small child to diddle one last time, then you could die happy
Kid’s fucked when he wants a grilled cheese in a year or two
How do I get into Thomas’s bunker?
Sounds like AMC’s publicity department is on schedule promoting the next season of “Walking Dead” Either that I’m going to have to limber up so I can kiss my ass goodbye
@ ironmike616 – yes, 2 year olds can form sentences, otherwise they should be put into the early intervention program.
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Side note – once you have kids of your own, posts like this are nowhere near funny anymore.
@ironmike616 — he probably said “aqua” or “wa-wa” or whatever phrase Brazilian babies use for water.
hahaha the Timmy T comment is priceless
It has begun. Choose your weapon.
Unconscious=/=dead. They buried the poor kid alive and if he regains consciousness, he’ll have the time of his life suffocating to death in a little casket. Fucked up.