So KFC’s whipping boy wrote an article on what your Little League position means about you today. Emails started trickling in that I better do something about it before we went out of business. I didn’t pay too much attention because generally commenters just rip everything. But then I took a look. This is the first thing I read.
First Base- I’m fairly certain the sports goggle industry would be bankrupt if it weren’t for little league first baseman. Easily the biggest goon and nerdiest dweeb on the field. Little league 1b has a terrible glove, a decent bat, and a missing chromosome. Downsy kids ALWAYS play first.
I was speechless after reading this. This is everything I rip other sites for. Just throwing shit against the wall and hoping it sticks. Because this is literally written like a dude who not only didn’t play Little League growing up, but didn’t play sports in general. Everybody knows that besides SS, 1st base is the alpha position on a little league field. It’s always the first kid to pack a lip or grow facial hair. He’s the first guy to get to third with a chick. He’s the kid who leads the league in HR’s. He pitches when he doesn’t play first. Granted lots of times the Little League first basemen will flame out by high school when everybody catches up to his early growth spurt, (hello Brian Oppenheim) but that doesn’t change the fact that 1st base is an alpha position in Little League. How somebody could be this off base is borderline shocking. After that I didn’t even bother to read the rest because all his credibility has been shot to shit.
So now here is the million dollar question. Do I need to fire Pizza Boy for this article?
Vote 1 for yes you can’t have somebody that dumb on payroll and 10 for nobody reads his shit anyway so who gives a fuck