DM – A University of California, Berkeley law school student accused in the death and decapitation of an exotic bird at a Las Vegas casino has pleaded guilty to the misdemeanor charge against him. Eric Cuellar pleaded Thursday to instigating or engaging in animal cruelty. He was sentenced to 48 hours of community service and an alcohol counseling class, and also ordered to pay a $200 fine and $150 in restitution to the Flamingo resort.  Police say 24-year-old Cuellar and fellow law student Justin Teixeira were seen Oct. 12 laughing and throwing around the body of a dead, 14-year-old helmeted guineafowl at the Flamingo’s Wildlife Habitat, reports the Las Vegas Review Journal. Teixeira faces a felony charge of killing another person’s animal and other torture and cruelty counts. Cuellar declined to comment after the brief hearing.

 

Well I guess cocaine, hookers, adultery, and mortgaging your house on table games are all perfectly cool in Vegas, but you chop off the head of one exotic bird and the law is gonna be knocking on your door. Hey we all know what it’s like to think something is a fantastic idea when we’re drunk, only to sober up and realize that yeah, I probably shoulda just called it a night and thrown that decapitation idea out the window. Maybe we shouldn’t have played catch with the dead carcass of that bird, huh bro? But on a head full of booze bad ideas are the best fucking ideas ever. Like McDonalds or fat chicks or trying to rub one out. In all those cases you just end up depressed holding a handful of floppy meat.

And bad ideas always flourish in hotels. There’s something about stumbling through a hotel lobby that just makes me want to break shit and do bad things. It’s like going to a party at someone else’s place. Who gives a shit what happens, I’m not gonna have to clean it up. Now take that feeling, multiply it by 100 because you’re at a casino in Vegas, and tell me that if an exotic bird crossed your path you wouldn’t at least see how far you could punt it?

But we all know how these things turn out. Once the exotic bird gets fucked up, the party really dies.