Source – A mother passed drugs to her son in prison by giving him a French kiss, it was alleged today. Kimberly Margeson, 54, transferred two strong painkiller pills from her mouth to William Partridge’s mouth while visiting him in a New York jail, prosecutors claim. Police did not indicate whether tongues were involved in the alleged exchange on Tuesday last week. According to a Yates County Sheriff’s Department report, Margeson put the Oxycodone pills into her mouth and brought them into the jail when she visited her son, who was being held after a weapons arrest. She then passed two pills ‘from her mouth to her son’s mouth when she kissed him,’ the report said.

 

This is one of those weird situations where you have to makeout with your mom to get pain killers because you need to kill the pain of making out with your mom. This guy was basically like “hey mom, I need you to french kiss me over some Oxycodone so I can forget it ever happened.” I think that’s a Catch-22? Not sure. Either way, it’s fucking disgusting, mostly because it’s his mother but also just because she’s gross. If she was a hot mom that’d be one thing, but old and butch is not what you wanna suck face with.

The real question is what’s worse: making out with your mom or being on the receiving end of brutal sodomy in jail? I’m not even joking when I say that I’d probably choose the sodomy. Yeah prison rape is never any fun but hey, at least I’m not swapping spit with my mom. I’ll take Nasty Nate in the showers over touching tongues with the woman who birthed me all day, every day.

PS – This story immediately reminded me of the Fratellis from The Goonies.