KY – Louisville Metro Police have arrested three men they said were trespassing on government property. According to a police report, 44-year-old James Tully, 43-year-old Gregory Parker and 61-year-old Earl Allen were all found inside the lobby of the United States Post Office on Highland Avenue drinking beer. This is not the first time the three men were asked to leave the building. The report states after several complaints from USPS staff and customers, the men have been told “numerous times that they are trespassing” and are not allowed in the building. Responding officers said one of the men had an open beer and there was a “bag” of beers being shared between the three. Officers said all three men smelled of alcohol. All three men are charged with criminal trespassing, drinking alcoholic beverage in a public place and alcohol intoxication in a public place.


The US post office is broke, letter sending is going extinct, they’re looking for a way to make more money…Umm guys I think the answer is staring you right in the face. Post office bars! Serve up some booze, let people hang out and relax, maybe put on some tunes. Next thing you know they’ll be drunk-mailing letters across the world, spending all their cash on stamps and saving your entire business. Not too complicated, government. Just look at what the people want and give it to them.

Now, let’s talk about the side of that dude’s face. What the FUCK is going on there? Is that a droopy cheek? A fat neck? A tumor? Seriously I’ve never been more disgusted and fascinated at the same time. I want answers. I need answers. We may very well be dealing with the deformity mystery of the century and I won’t rest until I know why I’m dry heaving.