Illinois - Two women are accused of showing off more than their putting skills at a public golf course. Madison County Sheriff’s Capt. Mike Dixon says investigators responded to complaints of lewd behaviour Monday at the Woodlands Golf Course in Alton, Illinois, and saw the women displaying their breasts. Now, authorities in Madison County have charged 45-year-old Shelly Lewis and 43-year-old Alicia Binford of O’Fallon, Missouri, with public indecency… officers received complaints that the two women were repeatedly exposing their breasts in a public area of the golf course. ‘They weren’t topless in general,’ he said, ‘but they were exposing their breasts – obviously there’s a neighbourhood there…” It was unclear whether the women themselves were golfing, or if they were just accompanying other golfters. He said that at the time of the arrests, ‘the officers didn’t witnesses Binford and Lewis golfing, they witnessed them pulling their shirts up.’

Look, unlike some guys, I don’t have a problem with women on the golf course.  Just as long as they’re not in my foursome.  Or in front of me. Or within earshot of me.  On second thought, I guess I do have a problem with women on the golf course.  But give credit to Shelly and Alicia for finding a solution:  Boobs.  This works on so many levels.  You want guys to put up with your slow play?  Show them your boobs.  You want them to tolerate your 27 practice swings followed by you barely knocking the ball off the tee, then giggling hysterically, re-teeing and back to the practice swings?  Let the twins out.  You say guys two fairways over are furious that you’re talking at the top of your lungs about The Bachelorette while they’re in the middle of their backswing?  Release the Madison County 4.  It’s perfect.  Hot slutty cougars want to be included in male activities. They crave attention from guys.  They want to feel like they’ve still got it.  Men like to look at hot slutty cougars breasts.  Everybody wins.  See how easy this is, Martha Burk?  You girls could’ve save yourselves a lot of time and effort.  @JerryThornton1