MUNCIE — Here’s a tip if you find yourself in conflict with Yorktown resident Robert Henry Stahl.Keep your mouth shut. For the second time in seven months, Stahl — a former tavern owner and onetime candidate for Delaware County sheriff — has been convicted of battery in a case that saw him yank false teeth from the mouth of his victim. Victim Robert E. Hollars, 50, told authorities “Stahl then ran up to me while my wife and I were sitting on our motorcycle, grabbed my head, and was trying to jam his thumb into my mouth with his other hand on the other side of my mouth trying to get my mouth open, telling me to give him my (expletive) teeth.” Hollars said Stahl was able to pry his mouth open and then extracted a partial dental plate, in the process breaking the device and also chipping three of the victim’s teeth.Four weeks later, on Nov. 12, Stahl pleaded guilty to another misdemeanor battery charge, this one resulting from his removal of another man’s false teeth in July 2007. In that case, victim Billie Townsend, 56, told police Stahl punched him and put him in a headlock during a quarrel in a Yorktown alley, then reached into his mouth and pulled out his full set of dentures. Stahl told him, “You ain’t getting these back,” and walked off with his false teeth.

Well it looks like we found our winner for the “I Don’t Fuck Around Award” of the week. I mean it’s one thing to beat mothefuckers up, but to rip their false teeth out and keep it as prize? That’s when you know somebody means business. It would be on thing if this guy needed the teeth, but he doesn’t.  He just hangs them on his wall like a trophy or something. And this is precisely why I don’t fight guys who were in Nam. They’ll fuck your shit up so bad you won’t even know what happened. You’ll just be sitting there toothless crying in your soup wondering what happened.  

PS – I have no idea whether this guy was really in Vietnam or not but at the same time is there really any doubt?