MAY 25Meet Lonneshia Shafaye Appling. The Georgia woman, 26, was so determined to shoplift beer, bacon, cheese, and chicken wings from a Piggly Wiggly that she punched, spit at, and pepper-sprayed store workers who confronted her as she tried to flee the supermarket Wednesday afternoon, according to cops. After worker Jonathan Orr tried to stop Appling, she “pulled out some pepper spray and sprayed him in the face.” Appling kept spraying as several workers tried to keep her from fleeing. The 340-pound Appling also allegedly punched Orr in the face and spit on the 28-year-old employee. As she successfully bolted from the Athens store, Appling “was dropping beer cans out of her purse.” Responding to a 911 call, a cop reported spotting “a very large black female in a purple dress standing there screaming at two store employees” who followed her outside the Piggly Wiggly, which was filled with a choking cloud of pepper spray. Cops prepared an inventory of the items Appling sought to swipe: five packages of cheese; eight cans of Coors Light; vegetable oil; chicken wings; and five packages of bacon. She also asked Officer Nathaniel Franco if her arrest would make the police blotter, requesting that the cop make his report “more interesting so that her arrest would make” the department’s compendium of notable incidents.

What planet does this huge black bitch live on? She requested the cop make her arrest report more interesting so it would make the department’s compendium of notable incidents? Umm honey you weigh 340 fucking pounds! You stole five packages of cheese, eight cans of Coors Light, vegetable oil, chicken wings; and five packages of bacon. You pepper sprayed the entire Piggly Wiggly staff into bolivan. You were running down the street with cheese and bacon falling out of your cooch. I’m pretty sure your arrest report doesn’t need to be doctored to add any more spice. You made the front page all by yourself. Like honestly stop underestimating yourself. You are one wacky newsworthy huge bitch. Congrats.