‘Bama – An Alabama man convicted of having sex with his mother is missing after he failed to show up to a sentencing hearing. Police in Marshall County, Alabama are searching for Gary Dean Helms Jr., 25, who is facing a prison sentence of up to 10 years for charges of incest, to which he pleaded guilty last year. He was initially charged with rape in the incident, which happened in 2006. Police said at the time that Helms forcibly raped his mother, Vickie Helms, while she was intoxicated and passed out on the couch of their trailer park home. Police reports indicated that Helms, who was 19 at the time, raped his mother in retaliation against his brother for a fight over a girl. The mother apparently woke up at the time of the attack and the report states that she ‘tried to get away, but he held her down until he was finished.’ … But Helms’ mother later said the sex was consensual and that she forgave her son.

I don’t Gary Dean Helms, Jr. (Gary Dean, Sr. must be proud) for taking off.  Where the Hell does the state of Alabama get off interfering in the sacred love between a mother and son?  Look I stand on my record of being consistently anti-raping your drunken, passed out mother.  As a matter of fact, I feel I’ve been one of the leading voices against the practice of trailer raping your mom.  And while we’ve made great strides as a society, there is much work still to be done.  But this wasn’t rape.  Vicky Helms even said so.  In Marshall County, AL this is all just part of the mating ritual.  I’ve seen it in dozens of nature films.  “Here we see the mother, nodding off… Now the SoCo bottle slips out of her hand… Notice the Newport still burning between her fingers… Her legs are hanging off the side of couch in a display of ‘presenting’ to show she’s ready to mate…”  What Vicky and Li’l Gary did wasn’t a crime, it was foreplay.  And I haven’t rooted for a fugitive to evade capture this much since Dr. Richard Kimball.  So you go, Gary Dean.  If you’re not free, then no man is free.  Roll Tide Roll!  @JerryThornton1