Sun – THE BRIT who had pioneering surgery to rebuild his wrecked manhood said last night that he finally “feels like man”.Married 40-year-old virgin Mohammed Abad had his penis ripped off in a horror car crash when he was six. Now he is looking forward to having sex for the very first time, thanks to his rebuilt 6in appendage — made of fat taken from his left arm. Security guard Mo may even be able to fulfil his dream of becoming a dad. At the same time as he loses his virginity, he will also be consummating his two-year marriage. Incredibly, his patient young wife only discovered Mo was lacking downstairs when he broke down and confessed three days AFTER their arranged union. Mo says: “I always felt there was something missing in my life. I wanted to be normal like everybody else. Everybody has sex, why not me? Now I can lead a normal life. My wife is delighted with how it has turned out. I stand naked looking in the mirror now. It’s a good size, too. I couldn’t be happier with it. I finally feel more like a man.”

 

Well first of all, if I was Mohammed and had my cock ripped off in a car accident, I probably would have murdered myself very shortly after that. Fat, middle-eastern and cockless is no way to go through life, son. So before we even talk about the scientific miracle, we have to appreciate that at no point in his dickless life did he stick his head in the oven. That’s impressive. Now onto his new dick. Is it bad that I want to see it? Does that make me a huge gay fag? I just want to see what a dick made from an arm looks like. It’s gotta be some mangled shit, I’d bet on that. Very oddly shaped, I’d assume. But I suppose when you’ve lived your whole life without a best friend and then you finally get one, you’ll look passed all the flaws. Just standing naked in the mirror, admiring the good size of your new dick, feeling reborn. Good for you, Mo. Now go get that arranged wife pussy, playa!