Does This Look Like the Face of A Dude Who Was Shooting Chicks With Semen At The Grocery Store?
GAITHERSBURG, MD (WUSA)–A bizarre and grotesque crime is under investigation in Gaithersburg. Michael Wayne Edwards, Jr., 28, has been charged with second-degree assault, after he allegedly stared at a woman standing in line at a Giant grocery store on Muddy Branch Road on Thursday, followed her out of the store and committed a disgusting act.”Once out of the store, he was walking closely behind her and sprayed a substance from a plastic bottle onto her back and hair. Investigation later determined that substance was in fact human semen,” said Gaithersburg Police Chief Mark Sroka.
Listen I love the idea of shooting my load in a chick’s face and hair as much as the next guy. They didn’t call me Dave “Facial” Portnoy in college for nothing. It was kind of my calling card. But I don’t get the point of putting your cum in a bottle and spraying it on a chick. Seriously what does that prove? The whole appeal of giving a chick a facial is that you basically got her to submit to you. To accept that you going to cum in her face and that she needs to just accept and enjoy it. But you get none of that when you do a jizz hit and run. The chick didn’t willingly submit to anything. So not only is there no honor in that, but it defeats the whole purpose of shooting your load on a chick in the first place.
Not one word about the series with the Tigers over the weekend? This site is slipping.
Ouch, tough nickname, David! So you are indeed confirming that you enjoy cock snot in your face.
must have awesome aim to get the semen in a bottle, my stuff sprays like a springler
They called you Dave “Facial” Portnoy in college? Cue the homo jokes.
I’m surprised. Shit like this is usually a white dude crime.
He looks pleased with himself
nothing like blowing your load in a chicks face and her loving it.
Good girl.
Facial LaFleur!
To accept that you going to cum in her face and that she needs to just accept and enjoy it. – am i the only one confused by this sentence?
looks like Kobe +50lbs
Kind of looks like LL Cool J
Wow, post about the Sox dude. Or hire a Sox writer or something.
» BlackDude said: { Aug 2, 2010 – 09:08:29 }
must have awesome aim to get the semen in a bottle, my stuff sprays like a springler
No one gives a flying fuck about your deadbeat non-swimmers, give it up.
Dude must have some candy ass sperm. My shit would clog up the mofo.
Pres you are such a tool sometimes it hurts.
How does the first lady put up with you? “facial” portnoy? Sounds like a tastemaker to me.
Thats all wrong im sorry..
i have no comment to write about this story lol..
Dave “Facial” Portnoy. The only person who has ever called you that was Adam Lambert
Come on pres, that may have been your nickname but you were definitely on the receiving end.
When your dick is small enough to fit inside the opening of a spray bottle, sometimes this is the best you can do.
Don’t ask me how I know this.