ABC- An Oregon man could very well have set a record for the shortest stretch of time between lockups, requiring a mere 55 minutes to land himself back in jail after being released. Christopher Franklin Weaver, 33, walked out of Lane County Jail as one of 32 recently released inmates, walked about a mile or so and allegedly promptly robbed a bank, police in Eugene, Ore., said. He was caught by authorities at the Pacific Continental Bank and returned to Lane County Jail. Nobody was injured during the alleged robbery. “This is pretty fast, someone getting released at 11:00 and then they arrive back 55 minutes later,” Sgt. Carrie Carver of the Lane County Sheriff’s Office told ABC News.  ”I can’t say it’s the shortest time, but it’s certainly the most notable because of the nature of the crime.” Law enforcement in Lane County was forced to release 32 inmates, including Weaver, in order to balance the budget for the year, Carver said. The released inmates were imprisoned on charges ranging from assault and sex abuse to drug possession and drunk driving. Weaver was incarcerated for parole violations for sex abuse and for unlawful use of a vehicle.

Well I’d say that Lane County is gonna think twice before releasing dangerous criminals to balance the budget again. Whoops. Nothing can go wrong here right? We’ll just let 32 inmates go so our balance sheet evens out and oh shit one of them just robbed a bank. Guess some of the criminals are still criminals huh? Who would’ve thunk it?

But I completely understand this dude’s mindset. It’s the classic “one final score” mentality. I mean what’s he supposed to do, just stroll out of prison and apply for a job? Take his sex abuse record over to the nearest Apple store and put in his application at the genius bar? Maybe be a Walmart greeter?  Fuck no. To quote the random black prisoner from Blow: “Motherfucker I’m a criminal. Ain’t nobody giving me no fucking job.” Damn right. Bank robbery is the only play here. And how proud of it does he look? Bro is like that’s right, I’m back in this joint, what of it? No shame in his game.

PS – How many Trailer Park Boys fans we got out there? That’s what this story immediately reminded me of. Ricky and Julian just crushing prison.