Does This Look Like The Face Of A Guy Who Stole Bean Dip And Then Threatened To Murder Someone If He Wasn’t Deported?
LOUISVILLE, Ky. —A man faces multiple charges after police say he shoplifted and then later told a judge he would kill someone if he wasn’t deported. According to the arrest slip, 28-year-old Abdiaziz Hirsi was seen putting a 9-ounce can of Fritos Bean Dip inside his coat pocket and trying to leave the store without paying, by the store manager. When an officer observed Hirsi, he reported that he had red, glossy eyes and very slurred speech. Hirsi later told a judge that he wants to be deported, and if he isn’t, he is going to kill someone. He is charged with shoplifting and public intoxication. The total cost of the bean dip was $3.39.
Hey Abdiaziz, you know how lucky you are that you shoplifted some bean dip in America? I’m pretty sure in your country the punishment for theft is hand amputation and sentencing you to an arranged marriage with a gross chick or something. The US is the best place in the world to steal from grocery stores. No other country has as great a theft experience as the United States does. You shouldn’t be asking to be deported and threatening murders if that doesn’t happen. You should be begging that we let you stay in a place where a can of bean dip doesn’t cost you fingers. I’ve seen Aladdin dude, I know the facts. You steal food in one of those weirdo curry-filled countries and a jacked dude with a machete chops off a part of your body. Barbaric. How about having a little respect for the fairness of America instead of basically spitting in our face with the deportation request? Oh and I’ll have two buffalo chicken Taquitos and a Lucky 7 scratchy when you get a second.