Foxnews – A spunky 17-year-old who had his right arm partially torn from his body during a vicious alligator attack, told FoxNews.com that he wants the alligator’s head. “I’m going to use it for a prosthetic armrest,” Kaleb Langdale said in an exclusive interview. “I want his head.” The Florida teen lost his right arm below the elbow Monday night during an alligator attack. He said he survived by offering the 11-foot alligator his arm, and used the skills he learned by watching TV shows like “Swamp People” to survive the brutal attack. “I’m glad the alligator attacked me, because if it was any of my friends, they probably would have died,” he said. His friends called 911 and he stanched the bleeding by squeezing what was left of his arm between his legs. He said when he tried to walk, he fell into a cactus. “It was there that I found spider webs that I also used to stop the bleeding,” he said. “I kept telling myself that people die when they start hyperventilating. So I kept telling myself to breath.” Felinda Langdale, the teen’s mother, told FoxNews.com “He could have lost his life,” she said. “Half an arm is nothing.”

I swear if you didn’t read the part about Chubbs losing his arm to the alligator you’d think he knocked this bitch out in the first round. Like bragging how he’s going to use his head as an armrest. How he’s glad the alligator attacked him because he’s the only one tough enough to beat it. Even his mother rubbing it saying losing “half an arm is nothing”.   Acting like this is a pussy alligator or something. Umm newsflash bro. He ate you. Losing an arm IS a big deal. You didn’t win. You lost.   And then you fell in a cactus which is almost worse than getting eaten in the first place.

PS – It’s kind of bullshit that the cops went out and killed this alligator.   What did he do wrong?   That’s his river not yours.   And even the cop said it’s fairly common to find aggressive alligators in the river this time of year because of mating season.   So you don’t want to get eaten?  Don’t swim there.   Seems simple enough to me.