Does This Look Like The Face Of A Kid Who Ruined A Random Wedding By Screaming Obscenities, Throwing Beer Cans, And Just Generally Running Around Like An Asshole?
FL – During a beachfront wedding on Marco Island, police said a drunken local disrupted a couple’s nuptials by running back and forth behind the altar, shouting obscenities and lobbing unopened beer cans, at one point hitting the best man in the back, police said. Now Bradley John Stiner, a 22-year-old Marco Island resident, faces a misdemeanor battery charge and the scorn of a wedding party whose memories have been tarnished. Police said Stiner started acting up during the Friday evening beachfront wedding by running behind the altar, drawing the wedding party’s attention. Attendees at first ignored Stiner, but soon Stiner drew closer and started shouting, “Hey tourists, get off my beach, I’m local,” an arrest report said. Stiner then shouted obscenities and threw full beer cans, hitting several attendees, the report said. Several party members chased after Stiner, causing the wedding to break up. When questioned by officers, Stiner had difficulty standing without swaying, the report said. When officers asked how much alcohol Stiner had consumed, he refused to answer and said he has a “right to be on the beach as a taxpaying citizen,” the report said. Stiner also shouted he is a veteran who should be allowed to do whatever he wants, officers said. Following an arrest Friday on suspicion of disorderly intoxication, Stiner faces a battery charge after the best man hit with a beer can wanted to press charges Saturday.
Have a day kid. Have a day! Now most people are probably like “why did he choose to ruin a random wedding? That wasn’t very nice. He should be ashamed.” Well you remember when you were younger and you’d smash an ant hill just for the fun of it? Or you throw rocks at a bee hive because why not throw rocks at a bee hive? Same principle here except this kid has moved on from insects to humans. He’s drunk, stumbling along the beach (which he has every right to be on because he pays taxes, by the way) and comes across a wedding ceremony. Only one thing to do in that situation. Fucking ruin it. Obviously wasn’t much else going on that day, so why not pass some time by tossing beer cans at the best man and telling everyone to go fuck themselves? It would truly be impossible not to act like an asshole in that situation. But just like with the ants and bee hive, the trick to destroying a wedding is to escape before you have to experience any of the repercussions, and that’s where this dude fell short. Chuck and run motherfucker. Chuck and run!
PS – If I was him I’d be most scared of the bride stalking me and taking out some sick revenge when it’s least expected because I don’t think there’s anything worse you can do than ruin a chick’s wedding day. I feel like women would have no problem murdering any person who ruined the perfection of their ceremony and would claim to be 100% justified in doing so.