TSG – A Thanksgiving Day argument over a misplaced sex toy escalated into the ironing board assault of a South Carolina woman by her girlfriend, cops report.  According to a police report, officers Thursday afternoon went to the Rock Hill apartment shared by Arteesha Donaldson, 24, and Latoya Hudson, 28, in response to a domestic dispute report. Hudson told cops that Donaldson “began looking for her detachable latex penis” and became upset at her when she could not find the item. “Hudson states the two argued for several minutes, when Donaldson threw an ironing board at Hudson,” police reported. At that point, Donaldson’s brother allegedly joined the fray, which left Hudson with a sore head (though she declined medical attention). While Donaldson, pictured above, admitted engaging in “mutual combat” with her girlfriend, she denied throwing the ironing board at Hudson and said her brother only tried to break up the fight. Donaldson, who had an active warrant in a neighboring county, was arrested for misdemeanor assault and battery.

Thanksgiving is about tradition. Every family has their own little things that they do on the holiday and it’s always upsetting when those things are disturbed. So I completely understand why Arteesha Donaldson was so upset. It just wouldn’t be Thanksgiving without a detachable latex penis in the mix. Like where the fuck is the penis? Turkey is cooked, gravy is piping hot, fire is lit, but I can’t find the goddamn dildo anywhere! Can’t eat until the rubber cock is lubed up and ready to go. It’s just not right. Like I’ve always said, you can’t have Christmas without a tree, Hanukkah without a menorah, and a lesbian Thanksgiving without a detachable latex fuck toy. Pretty simple.

PS – How do girls lose dildos? Wouldn’t you want to keep that in the same place all the time? Or do they just casually toss it onto the floor like a sock when they’re done?