(NBC) Donte is a 1-year-old Basset Hound who, like any other dog, likes a good treat and enjoys the finer things in life. Like jumping on his owner Yvette Richard. The puppy has a love of his own and it’s caused quite a stir in his Westlake, Louisiana neighborhood. “Basically, they’re saying that my dog raped their dog,” Richard said. You heard right. Dog raped their dog. For clarity’s sake, let’s start at the beginning. “We keep our dogs locked up in the back like you see we have a fenced in back yard. Well, we had no idea there was a little spot he could weasel out of and he did,” Richard said. “We have pictures of the holes he had in his fence, well my dog got in but there’s never been any proof that they even locked up.” Neighbors who called police said Donte was getting into their yard and mating with their dog, but that wasn’t the reason they called police. They say it’s because Donte snapped at their kids. It’s a claim Richard thinks impossible.

Isn’t there a law that it’s not sexual harassment if you’re attractive? Because Donte is cute as a fucking button. No way is he a rapist. Maybe he likes to randomly hump a leg or a puppy on occasion but who hasn’t been there? Chicks are way too quick to throw out the term rape nowadays. One second you think you’re being all fun and playful and the next you’re getting citations for felony rape. Such a fucked up world we live in.

PS – when she says there is no proof that they even “locked up” does she mean hooked up? Totally using that from now on.

Double PS – yes I noticed Donte’s puppy howitzer.