(Oregon) – A commercial truck driver who told his bosses that he was taken hostage at gunpoint by two men was later arrested and accused of driving while intoxicated, unlawful possession of an open container and filing a false police report, Oregon State Police reported. Thomas James Conner, 33, of Bellingham, was lodged in the Douglas County Jail, troopers said. The incident began Wednesday afternoon when the man’s trucking company contacted authorities to say that one of their drivers had sent a text message saying he was being held hostage. The driver said two men with guns took his keys and told him to stay with the truck until they returned to steal it and a load of berries he was transporting.

We’ve all been there. Had a few too many the night before and just couldn’t do your job. Not gonna hate on Thomas Conner one single bit. There are only so many times you can run through excuses. Sick, doctor’s appointment, traffic, car broke down all those you can use 1-3 times per year, max. After that you gotta get creative. Yeah maybe “I’m being held hostage by a couple of gun wielding men who absolutely need a load of blackberries” is a little farfetched but those are the lies that get the job done. The lies that are creative and imaginative. What else was he gonna say, his grandma died? Please. Worst lie in the book. I’ll get indicted for filing a false police report long before I give up my dignity with some weak bullshit like that.