GossipCop – Jason London reportedly soiled himself in a cop car and used a homophobic slur after being arrested for assault and disorderly conduct following an incident at a bar in Scottsdale, Arizona early Sunday. According to the police report obtained by Gossip Cop, officers were summoned to the Martini Ranch bar at 1:42 a.m., where they found a beaten London in the street outside the establishment. The bar’s bouncer told authorities the actor had walked by him inside the bar, sneezed on him, and then “cold cocked” the bouncer in the face when asked to apologize. Security guards then reportedly tossed London from the bar.

According to cops, when paramedics arrived on the scene later, London “became belligerent and started cursing,” refusing to cooperate with their treatment. He eventually became so aggressive, say police, one officer was compelled to “deliver a knee strike” to London’s thigh to help subdue him and get him seated on the ground. London allegedly continued ranting and swearing at police, calling one a “f**king hillbilly” and complaining about his treatment. After he was placed under arrest and moved to the backseat of the cop car, London reportedly said, “Guess what, f**got? I f**king love this! I f**king own you guys so hard. I’m rich and I’m a motherf**king famous actor! F**king look me up, b*tch!” At one point, London is said to have “lean[ed] to the left and defecate[d] in his pants,” telling police, “I told you that I’m happy as sh*t!”

 

If you’re even remotely cool then you know Dazed and Confused is one of the greatest movies ever made. This cannot be debated. If you haven’t seen it, I don’t know what you’re doing with your life. It’s a portrait of youth and rebellion that transcends generations. It has some of the most memorable characters and one liners in cinematic history. It’s a film that can be watched and re-watched over and over without ever getting old. Simply put, it is one of mankind’s greatest artistic achievements.

And that’s why it’s heartbreaking to hear about the movie’s main character, Jason London aka Randall ‘Pink’ Floyd, going crazy and shitting his pants in a cop car. Soiling yourself in a cop car changes everything. I won’t be able to watch the movie now without thinking of his stupid drunken face, grimacing while he diarrheas his trousers. Looking defeated. Glasses crooked. Calling cops faggots and pooping the fuck out of his Levis. The complete opposite of what I’d expect from the coolest kid at Lee High School.

But I guess all we can do is remember the good times, when he was a stud quarterback instead of an incontinent scumbag. Dude wasn’t always a pants-pooper. There was a time when life wasn’t so shitty…