(HL) – If these allegations prove to be true, we doubt Selena Gomez will ever want to get back together with Justin Bieber! The Biebs had a wild night with 22-year-old nursing student Milyn “Mimi” Jenson, according to a new report from Star, and things allegedly got pretty hot between the two of them. Lil Twist and Milyn reportedly picked up Justin from the Four Seasons in Beverly Hills on Dec. 21, and after grabbing some late-night noms at McDonald’s, the trio high-tailed it to Justin’s new $6.6 million manion in Calabasas, Calif. After the gang returned to the Four Seasons around 11 p.m., the source claims Justin and Milyn engaged in quite a bit of sexual activity — we’ll leave out the exact activity because, you know, it’s gross — but that Justin refused to kiss her on the mouth. (Just like in Pretty Woman!)

Ha! Sure thing, gossip mongers. Beiber fucked this chick. Don’t be fucking morons. The only part of this story that is 100% true is that Beiber refuses to kiss girls on the mouth. Everybody who is anybody knows that kissing chicks is disgusting. But the rest of it? Asinine. At first glance I was kind of pumped for Beibs. She has kind of a Gabrielle Union thing going on in that first pic. Glad the kid got his black belt. Then I got to the midriff. Beiber doesn’t fuck girls with abs like Ronnie Coleman. Actually, this chick doesn’t even have “abs” she has a “trunk.” Has sex for the exercise and not the pleasure of it. So no Beiber obviously didn’t fuck this girl because when he cheats he bangs Victoria’s Secret models, not pseduo dudes. Beiber has been called a lot of things in this life but no one has ever called him gay.

PS – is that a penis in the middle pic?