Hey real jobs… get off me! The Daywalker Jew is full time now bitches! Yup, your boy JMac who last year quit his 9-5 and was drifting aimlessly in the abyss of freelance writing is now big-timing it with the best website on the internet. I’d say it’s karma paying me back but I can’t recall ever doing a good deed or really working hard in my entire life. I guess it’s because I stayed true to my asshole ways all these years that now I get to make offensive jokes and look at celebrity asses for a living. Never let society crush your inner wiseass, kids.

So follow me on twitter (@thejustinmac) and I’ll see ya around the office. Oh and does anybody know how I go about getting my college tuition fully refunded?