There is no place in America more animalistic than outside a bar at closing time. Perfectly cromulent human beings go straight nature channel in seconds. In this example, Hanes T is drunk outside Bogside Pub yelling at a car across the street. What his drunk-tough brain forgets is that cars are stronger than people, so instead of moving out of the way, he’s forced to spend the rest of the night talking about all the shit he would have done to that “fucking pussy.” You got hit by a car and they drove off, homey. Your chubby flannel friends aren’t holding you back from shit. Use all the Sgt. Slaughter voice you want. Not gonna change the fact that you lost.

Editor’s NoteThis is for all the people telling me I’m a moron per usual for picking Big Mo for Philly.   Eat a dick because this my friends is a perfect blog.  Barstool 101.  We’ve been in Philly for a week and half and already have written the best blog in the history of that cesspool.   Never been so confident in world domination as I am right now.