Dude Gets Hit By Car Outside Bogside Pub In Northeast Philly, Brushes It Off Like It Was Nothing
There is no place in America more animalistic than outside a bar at closing time. Perfectly cromulent human beings go straight nature channel in seconds. In this example, Hanes T is drunk outside Bogside Pub yelling at a car across the street. What his drunk-tough brain forgets is that cars are stronger than people, so instead of moving out of the way, he’s forced to spend the rest of the night talking about all the shit he would have done to that “fucking pussy.” You got hit by a car and they drove off, homey. Your chubby flannel friends aren’t holding you back from shit. Use all the Sgt. Slaughter voice you want. Not gonna change the fact that you lost.
Editor’s Note – This is for all the people telling me I’m a moron per usual for picking Big Mo for Philly. Eat a dick because this my friends is a perfect blog. Barstool 101. We’ve been in Philly for a week and half and already have written the best blog in the history of that cesspool. Never been so confident in world domination as I am right now.
who’s been bitching about Maurice? Dude’s legit. Lot of children commenters with shit for brains on here.
forget Sgt. Slaughter… he almost got Lt. Dan’ed
Lots of people have been bitching about Maurice, Fogell. But like Pres said, he’s been killing it lately.
this blog sucked. Not enough Sheen references to be on the Stool. Get with it Maurice.
Maurice is def. the 4th best blogger in your stable.
1. Prez, Kmarko
3. KFC
4. Maurice
5. Jenna- sorry but all your blogs are seeming the same now, we get it, you copy the shit out of Prez’s writing style but your a girl so its kind of different…
last place. Scott- dude sucks please fire him, or even better let me know he was never hired in the first place
At least Philly can get an MFK up before 5. You’re 0-2 for the last 2 days Portnoy.
jerry must have been on the weed his freshman year at barstool.
Yeah but that Philly MFK shouldn’t count. It sucks.
Nah Pres I think even Mo would admit that he got off to a slow start. Granted this is good stuff, but time will tell. As Charlie says “Sorry. You either win or you lose — there’s nothing in between the two.” Which one’s it gonna be Mo?
That was awesome! Makes me want to drive over to Southie and run over some scummy bastard.
tee24 says:
March 2, 2011 at 4:54 pm
Yeah but that Philly MFK shouldn’t count. It sucks.
Its like Mrs Howell on the island. Any pussy is better than none at all.
@kristheboss – Scott is the absolute worst. Instead of firing him Prez, light him on fire.
Scotty doesn’t know he’s complete garbage. Fuck it, I could write for Philly and still make better shit with my eyes closed. That’s called touch typing, sluts.
It was a good blog but it had nothing to do with Maurice. Everyone told him he was being a pussy last week and that he didn’t understand what Barstool readers expect. So the dude just began writing exactly like you. Like honestly if you’d tossed your name under this post I wouldn’t have been surprised in the least. If you’re trying to make a clone of your large-nosed self in every city, Pres, then you’re doing a decent job of it.
On second thought the use of the word “homey” may have tipped me off that it wasn’t Pres.
Holy shit
3 straight posts without a Sheen reference
people dont hate big mo. they just hate philly. and rightfully so.
^ Nice poetry bro.
^hey garth, that was a haiku
@krisstheboss
KFC not number 1 on your list? Number 3?
http://www.howzyafatha.com
People hate Scott only because he’s a Yankee fan, he’s actually pretty funny.
True story
@Fishy_Fingers – there’s a difference between being a yankee fan and wanting to toss the salad of every dude on the team. Scott is waaaaay too dramatic in his yankee blogs.
Wake up and smell the coffee you’re shoveling, Prez. It’s not Maurice people hate, it’s Drew. Everyone hates Drew because he writes two blogs a day and phones them in like a god damn telethon. Fire his ass and get someone else to replace him, because as good as Maurice is, BSSPhilly is basically BSSBlackPeople… and only BlackDude enjoys that urban bullshit.
I SENT HIM THE VIDEO/DESCRIPTION
come on now prez give credit where it’s due, i emailed Mo his “best blog yet”. Now don’t get me wrong im a big Mo fan, but fire drew, i write better shit in the comments section than drew writes in his fucking college thesis papers. give me the job.
(slow jedi mind trick hand wave)
give me the job.
@McLovin- and Jerry, Rear Admiral, Jay King (what happened to Celtics blogs?), even Pres don’t slobber all over the knobs of all Boston athletes?
I agree with Fishy. Scott’s a decent writer, he just sucks at life. Fuck Scott.
McLovin, Scott is 1/18th as bad a ball gargler of the Yankees as JT is of everything Boston.
True story.
Putting true story at the end of every comment isn’t funny. It’s getting eerily close to “First!”
Telling everyone to eat a dick – nice touch maurice. You have my respect.
If you are ever bored on a Sat night, like I get when pounding my 4th Manhattan 11pm, search Youtube for “bar fights”, or “street fight bar”, etc.
Or just go to Murphy’s Law i guess.
cromulent, loving it
danoooo really should be blogging for philly. his comments literally are better than some of the blogs on the site. if you want making philly a solid blog, hire the man
1. i HATE philly, LOVE barstool
2. Maurice sucks at the barstool thing right now. He’s not getting it, but I think it’s his rookie campaign and I think as he reads more and more of the quality stuff from KFC, kmarko the pres he’ll get what this site is all about. His numbers aren’t near up where they need to be, but I think he’ll get there. At the very least he’s got potential.
3. As far as blogs go, I’ve long believed that broadstreethockey.com is the best blog out of Philly by far (albeit solely focused on Philly hockey) and it kills me to say that because of my first point. I wish the Bruins had a blog that is 50% as good as broadstreethockey.
Maybe it’s time for me to step up to the Bruins blogging plate and fucking crush the other shit out there.
Pres, I’m not going to say that Maurice sucks because I really haven’t read him. But if this is the blog that you post to prove to everybody how fuckin awesome he is (or even to tell everyone to get off his back)
What? This is some great shit to you? “I spit my coffee out and I wasn’t even drinking any” would kick this blog in the prick. You make better spelling analogies, you make better spelling mistakes, El Pres, you have shit better blogs than this. Don’t fucking patronize us with this horse shit.
jesus christ i could blog blindfolded funnier shit that what my hometown of philly is putting up. fucking brutal i’d rather watch tranny youjizz than read some of that shit. MFK featuring 70 yr old lisa thomas laury what the fuck? just put jim fucking gardner up instead and it might make my MFK choice a little harder. where’d you find this johnass? fucking mop up boy on delaware ave?
SUPERMAN!
check out http://www.ripashot.com its a free online book heres the jist of it SEX,BOOZE,AND ENOUGH GOOD TIMES TO MAKE YOU LOVE READING AGAIN
well big fuckin mo can get mfk up every day unlike you david
Love the Simpsons reference
millerlite is a fuckin clown