I don’t know if this is real or fake. I lean towards real just because this is so outrageous. I’m very honest on the internet. You guys are all my best friends. Tell you everything about myself from my lack of manhood to my snowstorm sick days. But let me say this loud and clear: the day I get a vibrator stuck up my ass is the day I go silent. In fact you can just assume that: if I haven’t tweeted in a day, assume I’m in the hospital pulling a Rabbit out of my ass like a goddamn magic trick.