DM – On the roof deck of their Williamsburg apartment, discussing which herbs and vegetables to plant this year, and which of last year’s plants might be salvageable, Sadie sits cross-legged and sips a beer while Marco cleans and lights the grill. Sadie, wearing a short, fitted dress, asks, ‘Honey, do we have enough coal?’ in that singsong voice girlfriends sometimes use to cloak skepticism as supportiveness. ‘I’ll figure it out,’ Marco answers, speaking more to the small fire he is tending than to Sadie. His hair is cropped short, and his voice has deepened from the hormone therapy. The fire going, small but consistent, the chicken on the grill, Marco joins us at the table. ‘Men get treated like s***,’ he says. ‘I mean, I know women get treated like s*** all the time. But like, when you’re a man, people just bump into you all over the place. You have to hold doors, but nobody says thank you. And you don’t get compliments, ever.’ Yeah,’ Sadie chimes in, ‘girls are always telling each other, ‘oh honey you look great! I love your dress! Did you cut your hair?’’ ‘Yeah,’ says Marco, taking a sip of his beer. ‘None of that.’ ‘And the handshake really threw me at first,’ he adds. ‘Women shake each other’s hands like this.’ He stands up to demonstrate and shakes my hand in a calm, casual manner. ‘But men,’ he continues, ‘do it like this.’ He grabs my hand, jerks it toward him and squeezes my fingers together with a crazed scowl on his face. We all laugh at the exaggeration that was, while a little ridiculous, not far from the truth.

Love this story. Chicks think they got it all tough. That they drew the short straw in the gene pool so they have to deal with shit like menstrual cycles and child birth and 3/4 pay and menopause. Sorry ladies but you got it good. Ever have someone bump into you? Or not say thank you when you held the door open? Absolutely infuriating. Or how about never getting compliments? Every time I walk out the door I think I look like a fucking dime and no one ever tells me how great I look. Can you imagine that happening to someone with a vagina? If a chick took all that time to get herself primped and no one told her how hot she looked I truly believe she’d straight internally combust. Yeah I guess if my friends always told me how great my jeans looked I’d be like chill out bro, quit trying to blow me. But it’s still nice to get noticed every once in a while, ya know? Not like I’m doing it for myself. So sorry ladies. You may think you’ve got it tough now but strap on a dick and see what it’s like to not have someone mention how nice your shoes are. See how that feels.