I know Tinder is sort of the go-to hookup app for Stoolies right now, but I’ve gotta be honest with you. Tinder kinda sucks. Yeah I said it. Blasphemy, I know, but I’m just being honest. Because I may be in the minority here but I actually like to meet girls in person. Kinda an old school technique, but I’ve found that it ups your chances of getting laid and reduces your chances of getting catfished by like 1000%.

So lately I’ve been fucking with Grouper. It’s 3 on 3 blind dating. Basically you sign up online, they look at your picture and info and match you up with three chicks. You pick a night and they tell you when and where to meet. Just show up at the bar with your buddies and there are three girls waiting for you. They have no choice but to go on a date with you, it’s┬ábeautiful.┬áNo effort required. Grouper even pays for your first round. Yeah there’s a chance they might not be smokes, but there’s also a chance they will be smokes. It’s called taking risks and it’s what makes life exciting. You can sit at home and ask girls how many pushups they can do all night and end up tugging one out like some Barstool bloggers I know. Or you can use Grouper and throw yourself into the fire. Maybe talk to a girl in real life for once.

If they suck you have one drink and dip. But if they’re hot you get wasted and try to bang them. Don’t even gotta talk to them first. It’s all taken care of. Warning though: you have to actually make conversation to a girl’s face. Oooooo scarrryyyyy. Or just keep throwing time down the drain with chicks you’ll never actually meet in person. Whatever you’re into.