Girl Tells Salem Cop He Can’t Arrest Her For DUI Because She’s Rich and From Marblehead

SALEM — When police found 22-year-old Taylor Jackson hiding near the scene of her wrecked car early yesterday morning, they say Jackson made one thing clear: “I’m not going to get arrested from a (expletive) Salem cop,” Jackson allegedly told officers. “I’m from Marblehead.” Police arrested her anyway, and Jackson was in Salem District Court yesterday to face charges of drunken driving and leaving the scene of a property damage accident. She also got a lecture from the judge. “If you were my daughter, I’d leave you in jail for the weekend,” Judge Richard Mori told Jackson, whose attitude didn’t appear to have changed since her arrest. After Mori asked why Jackson has a New York license if she is from Marblehead, Jackson responded, “I’m currently living at my summer house in Marblehead.” Police were sent to the intersection of Lafayette Street and Loring Avenue shortly before 1 a.m. after a nearby resident heard tires screeching and saw smoke coming from a car. Patrolmen Brian St. Pierre and Rafael Gonzalez spotted the young women hiding in some bushes nearby. The officers asked if the two needed an ambulance. Jackson immediately responded, “I wasn’tdriving,” Salem police Lt. Conrad Prosniewski read from the officers’ report. That’s when she mentioned that she’s from Marblehead. Around that point, Jackson’s father showed up and asked what had happened. “Shut up, Dad, don’t tell them anything. I wasn’t driving,” Jackson allegedly said. During field sobriety tests, Jackson allegedly told Patrolman Michael Dunn, “I feel bad for you that you only make $20,000. My maid makes more than that.” When asked to recite the alphabet, Jackson repeatedly asked the officer, “Are you kidding me?” and called him “pathetic,” police said. When she nearly fell over backward while tilting her head back to touch her nose, the officers told her she was under arrest. “Why, for being drunk in public?” she allegedly replied. “OK, my lawyer will get me out of this.”

People always ask me “Hey Pres why do you hate Marblehead so much”? Like what’s so bad about the Magicians? Well I think this article sums it up pretty nicely huh? Just a bunch of rich fuckers living on Marblehead Neck who think their shit don’t stink and thumbing their nose at anybody who makes under 100 grand a year and doesn’t live in a mansion. Hey honey you just got caught hiding in a fucking bush shitfaced. How about dropping the attitude for once? I mean did you ever think that maybe if you and your friends weren’t born with a silver spoons in your cunts that maybe Marblehead could give Swampscott a game on Thanksgiving Day instead of getting demolished every year? Did you ever think of that? And that goes for Powderpuff too.

PS – Memo to my unborn kid which I hopefully never have. If you ever smash your car drinking and driving and then get caught hiding in a bush and then tell me to shut up when I show up at the scene I swear to god I’d fucking murder the shit out of you no questions asked. That’s a promise.