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God Fucked Me In the Ass Yesterday
People who say that God is a good dude are full of shit. Because I had a deal with his ass yesterday. I bet the 2nd half line Bowling Green -140 against Idaho. It was a pick em. I also had the over. I made a deal with God that if he let me win both of those bets I’d quit gambling forever. He fucking shook on it with me. So when Bowling Green connected on a 50 yard TD to win the game with 34 seconds left I thanked him, shut my computer off and quit gambling forever. But then a funny thing happened on the way to me being even for the week. God fucking reneged on our deal. He somehow let Idaho throw an uncontested hail mary, score a TD on an incomplete pass and go for 2 and win by 1 point in all in the span of 32 seconds. A part of me died right on the spot. Not because I lost but rather because right in that moment I realized God was a prick. And naturally since he wasn’t a man on his word I bet the board in college hoops and got crushed. Thanks God. Thanks alot. Maybe you want to explain to the First Lady where our life savings went? Because it ain’t my fault. You bastards aren’t pinning this one on me. We had a deal.
Just end this act. Nobody believes you actually put down money on any of these games. Just stop.
racki,
it’s new year’s eve. you got to have better stuff to do then obsess about me. Go out and have a drink. even if it’s by yourself
That wasn’t God.
It was your neighbor Skip.
I’m buying all my tickets from ACE! Screw that chubby Higs and his creepy commercials. BTW – I’m cocked.
i’ve learned u suckat sports betting.
“Maybe you want to explain to the First Lady where our life savings went?”
What life savings? $200? You got married a month ago, and she knew what she was getting into. BTW – There’s a Goodwill store near the corner of West Broadway and Dorchester St.
Flip you EP…it’s sad you haven’t mention :keep fucking that chicken:
yes, it’s new year’s eve, but i’ve been drinking since 11:30am. At least you’re not a waste of skin like LT Dan o f NY
hey preezy, csan’t commemnt pon the ‘kep fuckijng the cheinekn’ video/?>>?? wppooooo! yeah! new yerz!! yu dont wnant nunna thisss
“1 ahhhhh!!!!!@E@#R?#)
zzzzzzzzzzzzzz. of course this was the ending. u bet against it prez. it was inevitbale.
i do feel for u though. u need to start betting the opposite of what u think.
Hope everyone had a great NYE/Day and has a great 2010….
Now, I admit I don’t know a lot about gambling—which is why I love your site EP since you don’t seem to either—–but am I wrong to remember there is an expression called a “back door cover” that seems appropriate here…
or maybe you shook hands with Jesus and not God by accident and since you don’t believe he exists, then the handshake wasn’t legit?…
It’s not every day that you encounter theological speculation in a sports blog. I found El Pres’s argument nuanced and persuasive.