Golf Balls are Destroying the Earth
London, England (CNN) — Research teams at the Danish Golf Union have discovered it takes between 100 to 1,000 years for a golf ball to decompose naturally. A startling fact when it is also estimated 300 million balls are lost or discarded in the United States alone, every year. It seems the simple plastic golf ball is increasingly becoming a major litter problem. The scale of the dilemma was underlined recently in Scotland, where scientists — who scoured the watery depths in a submarine hoping to discover evidence of the prehistoric Loch Ness monster — were surprised to find hundreds of thousands of golf balls lining the bed of the loch. It is thought tourists and locals have used the loch as an alternative driving range for many years… Local government ministers in Scotland have also complained about the level of golf ball littering… “From the moon to the bottom of Loch Ness, golf balls are humanity’s signature litter in the most inaccessible locations.”
OK! Enough! No mas! I get it, alright? I’m a horrible person and I’m killing the planet. It’s not bad enough to tell me every time I flip a light switch they clear cut a rainforest and every time I drive somewhere I kill a polar bear. Now they’re saying my slice endangers woodland creatures and every time I put it in the lumberyard I kill a prehistoric loch monster. What the environmentalists, the Danish Golf Union and Scottish scientists need to realize is we’re not trying to lose golf balls. That if were up to us, we’d play the same ball until it was softer than a Cadbury egg, then we’d eat the damned things, happy just to have saved ourselves 300 million stroke & distance penalties every year. Believe me when I say we feel bad enough about it, and if your massive guilt trips aren’t helping our concentration any. You want to save the world? Invent a ball that goes farther and straighter. I’m already doing everything I can.
(Thanks to my brother Bill in Alaska)
someone should rent one of those vacuum things that golf courses use to get golf balls out of their ponds and bring it to scotland. lots of money in selling used golf balls if there are that many.
It isn’t just the golf balls that are destructive (and after reading that story, it’s pretty fucked up how golf balls don’t decompose at all and slowly release toxins instead); it’s the entire sport of golf. Think of how much water a course needs ON A DAILY BASIS. Think of how much land a golf course uses that could be used instead for agricultural purposes (and not grazing, which is disturbingly harmful to the environment).
Golf is such a bullshit sport anyways. Requires zero athletic ability. Any sport where an old fogey can dominate is a waste of time.
I’m saving golf for when I can’t do anything else. No problem dealing with the golf “pros” talking about how good they are then. Now it’s just too much. This is mandatory without question:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=McAO7dgEItE
Probably the only time I have ever agreed with Piratesalsa. Golf is for the gays.
“Danish Golf Union have discovered it takes between 100 to 1,000 years for a golf ball to decompose ”
wow, good guestimate!
Piratesalsa and the-viking, i agree that everything you said was bullshit, you 2 uncoordinated fruits couldn’t hit a golf ball straight if your lives depended on it. You guys could never break 120, right?
pirate salsa- you are a fucking loser, go buy your own land you commie prick
You won’t lose any golf balls if you play at THE TEE BOX
theteeboxusa.com
When I play golf outdoors I lose about a million fucking golf balls. My favorite is when I finally hit a good shot and I still can’t find it but I know it was a good shot (distance wise of course).
buttpiratesalsa
How does an old guy dominate the sport? Tiger woods is the best player in the world and he is like 33.
My greatest accomplishment in golf (besides the 2 holes in one, and shitting on the side of the 9th fairway a month ago) is playing 7 rounds this year with the same ball. Are ya jealous yet, Jerry??
My favorite summer activity after a long day of work, pour myself a glass of whiskey, sit on my dock and drive golf balls into the lake.. So your telling me thats not good for the environment??? hmmm
Pirate- agricultural pursposes…are you fucking kidding me…your an absolute retard. I’d like to take a golf club to your head.
And it doesn’t suprise me one bit that the gay viking ( whose mancrush is Arod ) doesn’t like golf either.
Fucking Homos
Hey Teebox want to find out if I’m getting sued by the IRS?
People who say golf is gay are just terrible at golf, and are at least mildly embarrassed that they can’t play a game that “requires no athletic ability.” If it requires no athletic ability, in any way, everyone should be able to shoot par right when they start right? Maybe golf doesn’t require you to have the most muscle or the least fat, but it requires a lot of things associated with athleticism.
Windy – I shit in the woods on the course regularly, its my way to get the course back for fucking me over on good shots, or great putts that do something completely opposite of what should happen.
I have 2 aces also, but I once shit in a sand trap.
All this talk about losing your golf balls in the lake and noone has pointed out the REAL environment killer. Bowling balls. What do you mean you’ve never lost a bowling ball in the woods or bottom of a lake? Seriously? Hmmm. Guess I might not be playing correctly then.
Piratesalsa, your a clown, if tiger was in ear shot of you saying that he would tear you a new asshole. And if it doesn’t require athletic ability why arnt you on tour making 10 mill a year yaaahhhhh jackass.