FORT WORTH — A former North Side High School teacher who recently resigned after being caught with a 16-year-old student in a park was arrested Friday night, accused of having sex with the boy. Emily Elizabeth Housley, who turns 29 today, was arrested at her mother’s Saginaw home shortly before 8:30 p.m., police said. Housley, who is married and has two children… Housley, a math teacher, and her student had started flirting and exchanging text messages early this year when he was still 15, Detective T.L. Howard said. By April, after the boy had turned 16, the relationship evolved into sexual encounters — the first occurring inside Housley’s classroom after school hours, Howard said. The sexual encounters continued — at the school, in Housley’s car, at her mother’s home, and at Housley’s Saginaw home when her husband and children were away, Howard said. After school let out for the summer, he said, Housley met the teen at his Fort Worth house while he was alone. “She was going to a teacher conference that was near his house, and she was going over there on her lunch breaks and having sex with him,” Howard said.

Has the text message ever been put to a greater, more constructive purpose than to arrange Student/Teacher sexual encounters? It’s the reason the technology was created. When America’s Sex Scandal Students start holding conventions (and it won’t be long now), they should honor the man who invented texting the way ComicCon celebrates Stan Lee or Star Trek Conventions pay homage to Gene Roddenberry. Every time the man’s name… whatever it is… gets mentioned, all they should all take off their hats in reverie like the townsfolk in “Blazing Saddles” do whenever someone mentions Randolph Scott. Because there has never, ever, anywhere, been a teacher who asked for a kid’s cell phone number when said kid’s penis didn’t end up in said teacher’s mouth.

The Grades:
Looks: Hmmm. She’s close. And if you cleaned her up she might be alright. But she’s got a little too much Michael Cera going on to be among the elite. Grade: B-.
Moral Compass/Bad Judgement: Is there anyplace Emily Elizabeth didn’t bang this kid? In the classroom, in her car, in his house, in her house in her mother’s house… the planning alone must have been more exhausting than teaching trigonometry ever was. “Hi, mom. This is one of my students. I’m going to take him into the spare bedroom and, uh, help him bone up on his long division…” Grade: A.
Intangibles: Finally we know what’s really going on at those “conferences.” Grade: A.
Overall: B+. Nice job by Emily Elizabeth. Too bad for her she looks like Evan from “Superbad.”

(Thanks to Richard C. for the story.)
Have information about a hot female teacher having sex with her students? Or maybe one that’s not so attractive but has sex with them in a funny way? Send it to jerry@barstoolsports.com